Introversion and shyness are considered issues of temperament, much like the traits of gifted or active-alert children described above. Sometimes, it is difficult to determine whether a child is shy, introverted, or truly has anxiety. Consistent avoidance of activities or chances to meet new people may signal that you need to look into this issue more carefully to rule out debilitating shyness or underlying anxiety.

What Is Shyness?

Shyness is a term often used to describe those who avoid (shy away from) contact with others. A shy person may want to be social, but may experience physical symptoms of anxiety, which makes interaction with others uncomfortable. Shyness is actually a personality trait, and it can have many positive qualities. People who are shy often make good listeners who are sensitive, empathic, and are easy to be around. To sort out this issue, watch your child or teen in social settings and see if she is able to make eye contact and listen politely. If she seems happy with herself, and others feel comfortable around her, she may simply be introverted. If interacting with others seems painful or if your child routinely avoids opportunities to socialize, pay special attention to the section on social phobia in Chapter 6.

What Is Introversion?

Introversion is closely related to shyness, but introverts do not generally feel physically uncomfortable in social situations. Instead, introverts simply prefer to spend time in solitary pursuits, and “recharge” by spending time alone. Like those who are shy, introverts are often highly observant and introspective. It is typical for adolescents to appear quite introverted at times, as they may spend hours in their rooms gaming, grooming, or connecting with friends. Many gifted children can be introverted because their drive for learning and creativity pulls them inward. If you suspect your child's introversion is related to anxiety about social or other demands, this trait may need further exploration.

What Is Extraversion?

An extravert is a person who delights in being in large groups of people and recharges by connecting with others rather than being alone. Extraverts can sometimes appear to be the life of the party, but they can also simply need a higher level of social contact than their more introverted peers. Even extraverted children who appear confident and savvy on the outside can suffer from anxiety. If your child has frequent meltdowns after social gatherings, or if you suspect she is a “great actor,” look further into whether she may have an underlying issue with anxiety.