Your child is consistently learning, growing, and changing. This is hard work, and sometimes children can become snagged at particular stages in their development. The following sections detail some especially difficult times for children. Look back to the section on adjustment disorders for reference if you feel your child has more trouble in a particular area than most children her age. If your child does not seem to adjust well after two to four weeks, you may need to look into a possible problem with anxiety.

Daycare

Going to a new daycare, especially if it also involves a new home or school, can cause anxiety in even the most well-adjusted children. Certainly, dropping a child off at daycare for the first time can be one of a parent's most difficult days. To ease transition, try to check in with your child each day after you pick her up, and send some small comfort items, depending on your child's age. Examples might be a picture of you and your child together, pocket-sized toy, stuffed animal, or blanket. Be sure to keep in regular contact with your daycare provider to track your child's adjustment and discuss any concerns either of you may have. Generally, if your child appears happy when you pick her up at the end of the day and is excited to return the next, you can be assured that she is doing well in the new setting.

Preschool

Preschool can be a troublesome time for children and parents alike. If your child has not been in daycare, it may be among the first times you and your child are apart for more than a few hours. It can be unsettling to leave your child with strangers, even when you have chosen your child's preschool with confidence. To minimize your child's anxiety, try to have a routine both before and after preschool, and ask your daycare provider to accommodate. It helps if you drop off and pick up your child on time so that he does not have to feel rushed or nervous during these transitions.

Kindergarten

The transition to kindergarten, if difficult, may be the first sign your child could have issues with anxiety. That is not to say that starting kindergarten is not a tough task for any child. As they start their “official” school experience, children are exposed to more time away from home, larger groups of kids, busing, and more adults to tell them where to be and what to do. Children with separation anxiety can be especially vulnerable at this time. Try to keep your routine the same at home, and talk to your child regularly to support and encourage her. It may be helpful to check in with your child's teacher or offer to help in the classroom if your child is struggling with separation.

Middle School Transition

Many children transition to larger schools with unfamiliar children during middle school, and the demands for responsibility and self-motivation increase academically. The results are often frustrating, painful, emotional, and at times, even comical. It is utterly important, however, not to minimize your child's interests in and struggles with friends, choice of leisure pursuits, dress, or music. Many anxious children at this age benefit from a mentor, older sibling, or therapist with whom they can entrust their trials and tribulations.