Learning from the Fall
When you ask your child what made her eat an entire bag of chips after school, try not to get angry or frustrated if she says, “I don't know.” Chances are she really doesn't know. Most adults don't recognize their own inappropriate eating patterns, so expecting a child to identify emotional eating without adult guidance is a tall order. Kids need your assistance in trying to figure out the problem and develop strategies so it doesn't occur again.
Once you've assured your child that you aren't angry and want to help, sit down and discuss how you can prevent it from happening again. It's best to do this as soon as possible so the emotions and circumstances surrounding a binge are still fresh in your child's mind. Run through these questions together to get to the root of the problem and the best way to address it:
How did my day start? Did your child take time for a healthy breakfast? Did she get a good night's sleep the evening before?
Did I have healthy choices available for lunch and snacks? Is your kitchen a junk-food — free zone? Are school lunch options a pass or fail?
Did I practice mindful eating? Were snacks and meals eaten away from the distraction of television, video screens, and other passive entertainment that can put eating on autopilot?
Was I following my internal hunger cues? Was your child snacking to satisfy hunger or because she was bored or upset about something?
Did I let other people's negative words or actions influence my mood? Did someone say something that hurt your child's feelings, and if so, how did her usual coping methods fail her?
Don't fall prey to the “just this once” syndrome when it comes to allowing junk food into the house. It may be tempting to pick up those custard-stuffed chocolate éclairs for a visiting friend or relative, but bad days and binges are unpredictable, so why take the chance? You'll be doing both your child and your guest a favor by keeping your available dessert choices healthy.
The question for your child should not be, “Why am I such a screw up?” but “What can I do to keep from making that mistake again?” Sometimes those changes are simple — keep food in the kitchen, or pack a lunch instead of buying hot. In cases where triggers are tied to emotional concerns rather than logistical ones, the answers may be a little more complex.
