Your child can eat macaroni and cheese morning, noon, and night, and his total dining repertoire consists of about six foods. He refuses to consume any food or beverage that is the color green. You can't let his corn touch his chicken on the plate or both will end up in the trash.

If any of these food idiosyncrasies sounds familiar, you aren't alone. Virtually all kids have some quirks when it comes to what they'll eat and what they won't, especially the younger ones. Yet some are more particular about their meals than others. If you have a so-called picky eater on your hands, it can be easy for mealtimes to become a power struggle over what and how much your child eats.

The best way to avoid ending up with a picky eater is to introduce your child to a wide variety of healthy foods when she's just starting solids. Kids like what they know — it's safe and comfortable for them. If they're familiar with healthy foods from an early age, they'll be more likely to eat them. But if you've missed the boat on that already, there's still hope. Here are some tips that can help a fussy kid expand her culinary horizons:

• Try, try again. If your son turns his nose up at a new dish the first time out, don't give up just yet. New tastes and textures can sometimes overwhelm kids. Wait a few weeks, and introduce the food again. It may take five or even ten appearances before your child warms up to it. (Or he may never, but it's worth the effort to try.)

• Make it to order. Many kids who love raw carrots won't touch them cooked, and vice versa. When your child says he doesn't like a new food, try baking, broiling, steaming, sautéing, or stir-frying it next time to see if that flies.

• Have a hidden agenda. It may seem a little underhanded, but if you can sneak some spinach into a salad or bulk up your child's yogurt with a spoonful of swirled-in wheat germ, do it. Soups provide a perfect place to slide some contraband cuisine like veggies and grains past your picky eater, as do casseroles.

• Watch your mouth. Kids who are picky eaters often have parents who are just as picky. Don't project your own food dislikes onto your child.

• Don't label. Don't call your kid a picky eater — it just gives him more reason to continue being one. Along those same lines, if your child makes a special request for something new at a restaurant or in the grocery store, don't say, “I don't think you're going to like that,” or he definitely won't.

Patience is the name of the game when dealing with finicky kids, so don't give up your game plan prematurely. Stay consistent, be positive, and remember that it may take a few weeks, or a few months, before your child takes the plunge and tries some new things.

Letting Your Child Make Choices

Learning how to make educated decisions about snacks and meals will take some practice, even for the grown-ups in the family. Still, it's important that you share some of the decision-making responsibilities with your child so that she can gain both greater independence and a sense of self-esteem. Even though it may drive you mad to hear her ask for the same thing over and over again, it's important for her to know that her opinion counts.

Giving your child her say can also eliminate a lot of frustration about picked-over meals and wasted food. You may want to avoid asking open-ended questions like “What do you want for lunch?” The options are too numerous. For younger kids, offer two or three choices that your child can make a selection from. Older children will be fixing their own meals and snacks many times, so make sure there are plenty of healthy options available that they like.

Setting Limits

You want to keep your efforts low-key when it comes to reforming your picky eater. Standoffs at the dinner table are unproductive, anxiety-producing, and they often do nothing more than make your child dig his heels in even further. Don't insist your child clean his plate, and don't use dessert as a bargaining token. Keep using the strategies discussed in this chapter and throughout this book to hit on new food combinations and preparation methods your child enjoys. Remember to be consistent about keeping junk food out of the house.

At the same time, don't let your child take command of the kitchen and disrupt the family meal. There's no reason to get into the habit of cooking completely separate meals for her. Make sure there's at least one food on the table that your child enjoys with every meal. If she doesn't want to try what's served, keep a variety of easily prepared foods on hand, like whole-grain cereal, peanut butter, hard-boiled eggs, or cleaned and cut veggies, that she can eat if she wants, with the stipulation that she must prepare them herself (if of an appropriate age to do so). Tell her what's being served five minutes before the family sits down so she isn't running around the kitchen while everyone else is eating.