Like any teen with a pulse, your child is now interested in members of the opposite sex as more than friends. What do you do when her attentions aren't reciprocated, or worse, when she's shunned because of her size?
Heavy kids may not get invited to dances or asked to the movies as frequently as their thinner peers. It's unfair, but it's reality. Teenaged girls and boys can be superficial, and they won't always look past the weight to see the beautiful kid within. Considering the media influences facing these kids, it isn't surprising.
What You Should Do
As a parent, you can lessen the pain a little by encouraging your child to enjoy her friends. Tell her that when the right time and person comes along, a dating relationship will happen naturally. If there's a special dance or a couples' event like the prom that your teen hasn't been invited to, you might offer to spring for a get-together at your house for other kids who aren't going. You might also plan a special family trip somewhere adventurous.
Continue to schedule regular fun fitness activities during family time. There's probably less of it now that your child has reached the teen years, but a once-weekly time set aside for family only is important to keeping your kids grounded, maintaining open lines of communication, and reaching your fitness goals. Make attendance mandatory for both you and your kids.
What You Shouldn't Do
Never tell your child anything like this: “If you lose a few pounds, the boys will see how pretty you are.” If your teen says, “Steve will never ask me out because I'm ugly,” then counter with, “Then Steve must not know you very well.” Remind your daughter that the best and most fulfilling relationships are based not on dress size but on attraction to kindness, sense of humor, and other personality attributes. Inner beauty sounds cliché and your teen may roll her eyes at you, but it's true. If appropriate, you may even want to explain the qualities that made you fall in love with your spouse. You might engage your daughter in a discussion about why she's feeling ugly and how your family can further support her weight-loss efforts in the context of improving her health, not her dating life.