The Sensual Art of Kissing

Kissing is truly a sensual art. It is a very popular way of building the heat between lovers. The lips and mouth are highly erogenous for many people. Some women have even claimed to orgasm from kissing alone. Some lovers find they enjoy the act of kissing so much that they could just do this for hours, usually combined with caressing and fondling.

Essential

Kissing is a way to begin to explore the merging of your sexual energies. It is how you can begin to listen to each other energetically and create a dance that is all your own. When starting a new sexual connection with someone, spend a fair amount of time just exploring through kissing.

Preparing for Kissing

Kissing is a very personal and intimate act. It can make you feel vulnerable, so it is something for which you want to feel prepared. There are several things you can do to prepare for kissing that will make your kissing encounter more enjoyable. The first is to keep your lips soft and supple. The second is to make sure your breath is not offensive. And the third is to know when the time and circumstances are right.

Caring For Your Lips

Keeping your lips soft and supple will ensure that they feel good to you and your lover. Chapped, dry lips are painful and are not likely to be pleasant for your partner to kiss. To keep your lips soft and supple, drink lots of water. Keeping your body hydrated will help significantly with the quality of your skin in general, including your lips. Also, avoid licking and biting your lips. To keep your lips from becoming chapped and dry, make sure to use an SPF lip protector when out in the sun for long periods of time, and use lip balm to protect your lips when you will be exposed to wind. For extra treatment, you can apply lip balm at night before you go to bed or try exfoliating your lips with a salt or sugar scrub, a loofa sponge or exfoliating glove, or even your toothbrush.

Attend to Your Breath

Being worried about your breath can hinder your enjoyment and experience of kissing your lover. While your lover would hopefully feel comfortable enough telling you your breath was off, you can't necessarily count on that. It is also considerate and practical to take matters into your own hands when it comes to your own breath. Anything you can do to assure that your breath is not offensive will help keep both you and your lover worry-free and happy. Poor digestion, illness, tooth or gum decay, certain foods and beverages, and smoking can all contribute to bad breath. Some of these are obviously more easily remedied than others. You owe it to yourself and your partner to do all that you can to make sure your breath is not going to get in the way of your enjoyment of kissing one another.

Prevention strategies and remedies for bad breath depend upon what is causing the problem. Good practices include the following: Pay attention to the food you eat and your subsequent digestion, consulting a nutritionist if needed. Floss and brush your teeth regularly to keep your mouth free of decay and infection. And finally, scrape your tongue with a tongue scraper. This can be very effective, as it will remove bacteria from the tongue, which is often responsible for bad breath. The use of mouthwash can help too, but not everybody likes the smell of mouthwash.

Fact

You can self-test your own breath by licking the back of your hand, waiting a few seconds, and then smelling your hand. This will enable you to know exactly what your breath smells like. If it smells fine to you, chances are your lover won't mind either.

If you drink coffee, beer, or other alcohol; smoke; or eat a lot of garlic, you should check it out with your lover to see how his olfactory system responds to these smells, as they do tend to linger on the breath and some people find them unpleasant. You may find that if both you and your lover are drinking beer or eating garlic together, you are not as likely to get offended by those smells. Eating a sprig of parsley after a garlicky meal is said to freshen the breath.

Question

What can I do if my lover does not like the smell of something on my breath that I partake in regularly?

Your options are to quit the food or substance altogether or to limit it to times you won't be connecting sexually. You can also try to somehow mask the smell, but be warned that this is often not successful.

Is the Time Right?

You need to be able to read the cues from your lover or lover-to-be to know when the time is right for kissing. For some, kissing is a very private thing and only to be done when the two of you are alone. For others, kissing in public is fun and sexy. Comfort levels can vary depending on the type of kiss and the specific people who may be observing. If you find that you are not sure whether kissing someone is okay in a particular context, it doesn't hurt to ask.

In general, people tend to feel most ready to kiss when they are alone on an intimate date. Establishing a connection by talking and cultivating an emotional closeness can set the stage. You are more likely to be ready to kiss when your bodies are already touching. This could be a casual touch, not necessarily a passionate embrace. You are clearly ready to kiss when you both feel the heat between the two of you.

Becoming a Better Kisser

There is certainly no right or wrong way to kiss. But there are many variations to kissing. While you probably have found a way to kiss that works for you and your lover, you may be open to try some new techniques. Expanding your repertoire gives you more options to draw upon and can help make you a more exciting and versatile lover.

Think about kissing in several different stages. First, there is the approach. Then there is the meeting and discovering of your lips and mouths. Following this is the passionate build-up. And finally, there is the ending of the kiss.

The Approach

When you approach your lover to begin kissing, it is good to be relaxed. Move slowly. You don't want to accidentally bump heads or clash teeth. It can be helpful to just bring your faces close to each other initially and listen and feel each other's breath. Take time to smell and breathe in your lover's hair, skin, and breath. Notice how you are feeling, being this close. Allow your cheeks to brush up against each other if that feels good to you. Allow your lips to softly graze against each other's. Gently explore each other's faces with your lips and nose. Wander off to the sides, exploring each other's ears and necks.

Essential

Listen with your whole being. Allow the anticipation and curiosity to build. Don't be in a hurry. Enjoy the approach as if it were very much a part of the kiss. Allow yourself to be moved by the tenderness and vulnerability of connecting on such an intimate level.

Tender Kissing and Nibbling

Tender kissing helps create a feeling of safety. Gentle biting or nibbling is a way to increase excitement while maintaining a feeling of tenderness. Tender kissing and nibbling can either stand on their own or be a prelude to passionate kissing. You can start by planting tender kisses and nibbles on different parts of your lover's face, ears, neck, and shoulders. When your lips first meet, they should be relaxed. You are looking to merge your lips delicately together. Allow your lips to really enjoy the feeling of your lover's lips. Move your lips in a way that feels good, not in a way that you think is supposed to look good. The feeling of sensitivity behind the kissing is what makes it tender. Appreciate the vulnerability of being so close.

Passionate Kissing

Passionate kissing occurs when the heat is really high or when one of you wants to turn it up. People generally equate passionate kissing with French kissing (open mouthed). But passion actually has more to do with the energy behind the kiss, rather than whether your tongue is involved. Stay attentive to your lover even as the passion builds. Be careful not to get swept away by your own arousal, and stop paying attention to your lover's energy. She may be in a very different place, and you may lose her in the kiss.

When you do bring your tongue in on the action, notice your lover's response. Take turns offering your tongue into your lover's mouth. Don't let it turn into a wrestling match between your tongues. Extending your tongue may mean, “I want to be inside of you” or “I want to be closer to you.” Let the action stem from your feelings, rather than from a mechanical idea of what kissing is supposed to be.

EXERCISE: Practice your kissing on a succulent fruit, such as a mango. Make sure you choose a fruit you enjoy. Peel away the skin to expose the juicy part of the fruit, and let your lips luxuriate in the sensuous texture and juiciness. Then try kissing your lover in the same way.

Sealing the Kiss

Knowing when to stop kissing can be as challenging as knowing when to start. You may want to stop before you sense your lover is ready. It is best to find a way to transition gradually so that your lover can adjust her energy to the shift. You don't want your lover feeling suddenly abandoned. A good way to transition out of passionate kissing is to go back to tender kissing for a while. Or when you decide to stop kissing, you could express verbally how much you love kissing her or look her in the eyes and smile.

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