Tips and Techniques for Penetration

Penetration is often rife with forceful and passionate thrusting that seems to come from a very primal place. This penetrative thrusting can overcome you and seem to have its own sense of purpose and mission that you may or may not agree with. It can take some time to learn how to handle or how to direct this force. But for the sake of more exquisite and refined pleasures, it is a force worth reckoning with. Here are some tips and techniques to keep in mind when engaging in penetration of any kind.

Take It Slow

Any penetration should always start out slow, unless your lover indicates that she wants something else. In order for the tissues of the vulva and vagina to relax and become aroused and engorged, they need to feel safe. Slow, careful movements will support a sense of safety for her. You can gradually build up the intensity of penetration, including the speed, depth, and force, always checking in with her to make sure it's working.

Use Lube When Necessary

Penetration often requires added lubrication. If a woman is ovulating or produces a lot of vaginal lubrication, you may not need to add any lube for vaginal intercourse, or even for vaginal penetration with an object. But for any anal play, count on needing a lot of lube. The penis or object that is penetrating the anus or vagina should feel as though it can glide inward and outward, effortlessly and smoothly, without causing any discomfort or pain.

Feel-Good Moves

Learning how to make penetration as delightful as possible requires some practice, exploration, and finesse. You may have already explored a wide range of movements for penetration and discovered some very gratifying moves for you and your lover. But, just in case you haven't yet caught on to these moves or have forgotten about them, here are a few tried and true methods.

Just the Tip

Penetrating with or engulfing just the tip of the penis (or object) is a wonderful sensation for both of you. This is a great way to start penetration, or to occasionally revisit during a lovemaking encounter. Using just the tip is a way to tease and build arousal, as well as increase lubrication before further penetration or engulfment. You can explore this with slow or quick movements, and everything in between. Try different angles and positions to find out how this feels best to both of you.

Taking Your Time

Gradually working your way to full penetration is a much more skillful and exciting way to approach penetration. This can help increase the sexual tension, get your energies and emotions more in touch with each other, and create a circumstance in which you can delight in the subtleties of sensation. Going slow also creates a sense of safety, which helps immensely with arousal and lubrication for women, providing a much more luscious experience for you both. If you have the urge to hurry things up, try taking some deep breaths, breathing in the pleasurable sensations you are experiencing in that moment.


Stimulating the G-spot in women during vaginal penetration, or the P-spot in men during anal penetration, can greatly intensify the orgasmic experience. Aim for this spot during penetration, particularly as your lover gets close to orgasm. It could be the one trick that sends your lover over the edge.

Long, Slow, and Deep

Long, slow, and deep penetration is a great way to slow time, increase the size of your penis and increase arousal. After having gradually worked your way to full penetration, take some time just enjoying the lusciousness of the entire penis moving in and out of the vagina. Going slow can also create more space to fully recognize your feelings and enjoy your intimate connection with your lover.

All You've Got

When your passion peaks, giving all you've got and moving fast and forcefully can be just the thing to send you both over the edge, emotionally and physiologically. Wait until you absolutely can't hold back anymore and make sure that your lover is on the same page. You want to let the passion inside of you and between you and your lover build naturally, rather than forcing your movements.

The Afterglow

Penetration and the orgasms that are produced this way can put you into a very raw and vulnerable state. You may even be moved to tears. Often, a sense of deep connection and intimacy forms and can make you feel very tender toward your lover. You may be feeling that your energies have merged and that you are truly not alone. This is a wonderful time to indulge yourselves in feelings of closeness to each other.


When your lover is ready to come, she may or may not want the penetration to continue. She may want it to stop so that she can focus on relaxing into the sensations and ride the pulsations and waves without the distraction of thrusting. Or she may want you to keep up the rhythm and groove until she has finished coming.

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