You may have heard the unhappy story of Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis. Dr. Semmelweis was a surgeon in nineteenth-century Europe and is most often credited with the discovery that hand washing and sterilizing surgical instruments prior to contact with patients could greatly reduce the incidence of puerperal (childbirth) fever and other contagious illnesses that killed so many hospital patients (and others) in his day. Unfortunately, the doctor's peers and superiors, for the most part, weren't ready to hear what he had to say. Instead of being rewarded for this life-saving discovery, he received mostly criticism (although he did enjoy a modest amount of professional success in his lifetime) and died a miserable, premature death.

If you're old enough to remember the Watergate era, you have probably heard of Martha Mitchell, the late wife of John Mitchell, the U.S. attorney general under President Nixon. Mrs. Mitchell became famous, as the scandal unfolded, for telephoning reporters in the middle of the night with wild claims. She soon developed a reputation for instability. Rumors were leaked about her mental health and alcohol usage. But Martha Mitchell, of course, for all her apparent peculiarities, was right. Dirty doings really were going on at Democratic National Committee headquarters. Nixon later told TV interviewer David Frost that, without Martha Mitchell, “There'd have been no Watergate.”

So… could you be right about some of the things or situations you fear? Sadly, yes. That is, some of the outcomes you worry about may be possible. Dogs do, on occasion, maul humans, planes do crash, bridges do collapse, and so on. The question to ask yourself, really, is not, How likely is that? or How often does it happen? so much as, How much of an effect do I want my awareness of this to have on my life? (On the other hand, those first two questions are, by no means, the wrong ones. In fact, your cognitive behavioral therapist might pose them to help you learn to reassess risk.)

Few, if any, things are absolutely safe. Some are patently unsafe. Most will fall in between.

If you know of an airline with a reputation for accidents, of course, it's perfectly sensible to refuse to fly on it. If you see that unsafe conditions exist in your town, or somewhere much larger, it's noble to call the right attention to them.

It's okay sometimes to worry about things you can change. If nobody did, you can be sure that nothing of any consequence would ever be achieved. There would be no safety commissions or procedures. Life would be more hazardous than it is. But … (you knew that was coming, right?) it is, as we say, a matter of degrees. You don't want your life to be one big worry, either.

When Bad Things Happen

Unfortunately, sooner or later the thing or things you worry about may happen. Not to you, necessarily, but to someone. And then, you might think, See? I was right to worry about this. Were you? Maybe. But let us ask you this: Did the worry benefit you? True, it kept you safe from your feared outcome, but it also ran your life, at least to some extent, right? Think of it as a body cast for a broken ankle: It did the job, but was all that constriction really necessary?

Simple Wisdom

We can't tell you, of course, how much worry is too much and how much is just right. (In fact, we don't know of anyone who can tell you that.) But we think that, if you practice CBT and perhaps take medication, after a while, you will probably find what works for you: a point at which you're still not a daredevil, but you're not a “fraidy cat,” either. In other words, you will probably find something you can live with. Balance.