It may be that you, yourself, find that you do not really want to encourage your partner or friend to take the small risks necessary for CBT to work. Why? Because you fear that they will lead to anxiety, and this will be unpleasant not only for your family member with OCD, but for you (and possibly other family members), as well. In this case, supporting your partner may feel counterintuitive in that it is not what is in your heart to do. You may actually prefer the “enabling” because that behavior involves less interruption of the status quo. In other words, sometimes it's easier and quicker to just give in.

If this is the case for you, we urge you to examine your own behavior. If it is at all feasible, we hope you will enter into treatment with your OC spouse so that OCD doesn't end up damaging both of you even more.

Remember Secondary Gain?

Another reason you might feel reluctant, even subconsciously, to stop “helping” your OC spouse is that contributing to the behavior might help you to feel needed. You may fear that, once she no longer needs you to protect her from perceived harm and do things she finds too frightening, she will no longer need you for anything else, either. Again, this may be a reason for you to seek counseling, at least for a short time. At the very least, we hope you will examine your feelings honestly.

Time To Heal

Treatment, whether with CBT, medication or any other method, takes time. Support your family member by praising his progress, even very small steps. Remember, even if you think that driving to the next town and back is not necessarily worthy of copious acclaim, to the person who finds that task difficult, it is.