OCD, as you undoubtedly know, can wreak havoc on your home life. This is true whether you live alone or with roommates, parents, children, or a spouse; it is true however old you are. If you live alone, you might find it hard to accomplish seemingly simple tasks, such as taking out the garbage or washing your dishes. If you live with others, you already know how hard it can be to try to hide your behaviors, and you know how impatient others can get.

Family members may feel resentful when they find themselves giving in to your compulsions, such as rewashing their clothes, double-checking the stove, or assuring you that you are not immediately dying. They will undoubtedly feel frustrated with you for not being able to do simple things such as picking up a pencil that's fallen onto the floor or leaving the house without checking the stove endlessly (or worrying obsessively about not having an opportunity to do so).

Hard to Live With

Caring for a person with a physical illness is very hard. Caring for a person who has a severe mental illness is also hard. But dealing day-to-day with a person who seems normal except for her “peculiarities” — behaviors that she seems to insist on dragging into every aspect of her life — can be frustrating, indeed. Some family members of people who have OCD feel guilty when they don't give in to the person's compulsions or requests. Others may feel angry or resentful, as if the person who has OCD is trying to “control” them.

Bringing family members along to one or two therapy sessions, if possible, would probably be ideal. Your family may need insight into OCD, help learning about ways to work with you to banish its symptoms, and support for dealing with a difficult family situation.

Working on Working Together

You will also want to get real help for your symptoms. Once family members see that you are working on the problem, they may become more sympathetic — although out of habit or years of frustration, they might still show signs of impatience with you and your behaviors. Communicating is almost always helpful.

Both you and your affected family members should have a chance to tell one another how you feel and what your principal concerns and difficulties are. Such communication can often be facilitated by meeting with an experienced therapist; if family members are resistant to that idea, perhaps they will at least be willing to read more about the disorder. Many books on OCD have sections directed toward family members and how they can begin to understand and to help. Some even are written exclusively for the family of the person who has OCD.