To Date or Not to Date?
The first rule about dating coworkers is to be sure to understand the rules of your facility regarding this matter, including the unwritten ones, before you get involved with anyone. Discretion is the key and must be used at all times. The stereotype of young women becoming nurses to catch handsome young doctors will long haunt the nursing profession, but there is still some truth to it today. Some nurses do enter the profession intending to marry doctors and for others it just happened that way — they didn't set out to marry a doctor.
Dating any coworker can be a precarious situation in any profession or workplace. For some, these relationships work out, and many marry and live long happy lives together; for others these relationships can be short-lived and messy. Some employers forbid any type of fraternization with coworkers other than group social gatherings to avoid these kinds of situations.
If your facility doesn't forbid dating coworkers, proceed with great caution. If it doesn't work out, you may need to change jobs in order to avoid the uncomfortable place you have made for yourself. When people break up, their friends often have to choose whose side to be on. When you all have to work together, this may be a big challenge.
If you are dating a doctor or someone else in a more powerful position within the facility, you will most likely be seen to be brown nosing. Any advancement or promotions you might receive will probably be seen as special favors and not something you earned. Keep that in mind.
Dating a coworker can create distractions as well. You might find yourself spending a great deal of time trying to steal moments to be together and alone or to discuss plans that could wait for after hours. If you are fighting or unhappy with each other, you can find yourselves being inappropriate to each other. Dating coworkers can also put you in a competition with others who may have shared a relationship with this person before, or someone who is jealous of your relationship. If you're going to date a physician or other coworker, keep these points in mind:
Understand your facility's rules first.
Be discreet at all times and avoid public displays of affection.
Never disclose private or intimate details of your relationship or about your partner to your coworkers.
Don't spend all your free time at work (breaks and meals) with your partner.
Don't take your problems to work with you. Leave your disagreements at home. Be professional.
Never get caught up in gossip and rumors about coworkers. Be discreet and stay out of other people's business. For instance, imagine that a doctor and your nursing supervisor were seen having dinner one night in an intimate restaurant. The rumors began flying early the next morning. People had suspected something for a while, but now there had been an actual sighting. The doctor is married. He's also angling for a position on the hospital board. A public affair could spell real trouble for him. Now imagine how embarrassed everyone was to find out that your nursing supervisor is his sister-in-law, and they were planning a surprise party for his wife's fortieth birthday!
