What's Expected of You When
Now that you know what your official duties are, take those duties and carry them into situations. Your time to shine as MOB is fast approaching — but this is not a role you can simply jump into on the day of the wedding. Now's the time to prepare yourself for what lies ahead: the shopping, the guest list, the parties, the wedding, and the reception.
Wedding PreparationsIf you're getting involved in the planning, you'll be a valuable asset to the bride and groom, evaluating reception halls, interviewing vendors, and keeping in contact with various wedding businesses. You may be called upon to work out details and sign contracts. Your best bet here is to educate yourself so that you can be an informed consumer; your next best bet is to only work with vendors who are willing to meet your needs. Settling for a banquet hall that doesn't offer the services you're looking for just because you and the bride love its entryway is going to set you off sooner or later.
The bride may ask you to help out with shopping trips — including her registry. If she's never lived on her own, she may have no idea what she needs (the nonstick set of pots and pans) — and what she doesn't need (the silver candelabra).
In addition, you'll need to put a guest list together for your side of the family and be in contact with the groom's family regarding their guest list. You'll give them a number to work with, and tell them when you'll need the names. Make sure you have the correct number to avoid any potentially sticky spots. For example, if the groom's mother submits her list to you (and it's within her limit), you shouldn't call her and ask her to eliminate some of the guests because your math was off. It could well be that she's already told these people that they are invited.
Wedding EveOften, the wedding rehearsal is held the night before the wedding (otherwise, it's held several nights prior to the big event). Every member of the wedding party (this includes you) should be there, because this is akin to a dress rehearsal — no one wants to see bridesmaids wandering around during the ceremony because they have no idea where they should be standing or what they should be doing. Ditto for the parents of the bride and groom. Sure, you know how to walk down an aisle, but do you know what you're supposed to do once the ceremony begins? (No, you're not supposed to straighten her veil and poof her train — unless you're doubling as the matron of honor.)
The rehearsal dinner follows the run-through of the ceremony. The groom's family normally takes care of the details surrounding this event, so all you have to do is show up and be charming.
Wedding DayWhen the big day finally arrives, you'll be the bride's right-hand woman. She'll need you to help her prepare herself for the ceremony, which may include driving her to the hairdresser's, helping her with her makeup, and assisting her with the big dress. You'll also be dealing with various hired help and the bridesmaids, too.
This can be a very stressful time for MOBs. Don't take it out on the bride. She's stressed, too, and getting on her case is only going to cause major friction between the two of you. Try not to be too controlling here. Try to work at her pace.
At the ceremony, you will most likely be seated in the first row before the bride enters the building. After you are seated, take the time to look around at the results of all your planning and then sit back and enjoy the ceremony. When the ceremony ends, you'll exit directly behind the wedding party. At the reception, your job is to be a welcoming hostess and make sure that everything goes according to plan — or, if something's amiss, to take it up with the banquet manager.
