An MOB works so hard over the course of a wedding day, there should really be a great big payoff waiting for her somewhere. Wait a minute — there is! Your daughter's happiness and the knowledge that you were able to create a beautiful event is your reward. Not what you had in mind? There's another bonus: The reception is the time when you might finally be able to relax a little and really enjoy yourself … once you have approved the details, that is.

The Receiving Line

Some brides and grooms are choosing to forgo the receiving line these days, complaining that it takes them away from their own party and arguing that no guest really enjoys making their way through the never-ending lineup, anyway. Bridesmaids and ushers are forced to make small talk, and the bride and groom find themselves kissing and hugging strangers.

Your response? Too bad, kids. Anyone who comes to the wedding deserves to be personally greeted by the primary players, and there's simply no easier way to do this than by having a receiving line. Keep in mind that many of your older guests will expect this tradition, and may well feel snubbed if the bride and groom eliminate it. Imagine the response of your friends and relatives, who have made a great effort to attend this event, when they realize that the newlyweds don't want to be bothered with welcoming them — they'd rather be having fun. Tell the bride and groom there will be plenty of time for play once they've said hello to every single guest.

The receiving line does not have to include all of the attendants. By cutting the size of the line, you'll also cut down the time it takes for your guests to navigate it as well as the amount of time the bride and groom will have to miss their party. The bride and groom can greet the guests by themselves, or they might want to include their parents, or only the mothers (while the fathers spend their time mingling with the guests during the cocktail hour). All of these options are perfectly acceptable.

Other Options?

There are alternatives to the receiving line, but most are fairly time-consuming and don't allow your guests the opportunity to kiss the newlyweds. One option is for the bride and groom to stop and greet the rows of guests as they leave the church. This is a good way for the bride and groom to give a quick wave and a smile to everyone in attendance. On the other hand, it's not as personal as a face-to-face greeting, and it could create a bottleneck in church. (No one wants that, especially on a hot summer day.) The bride and groom might also opt to swing by each table during dinner to say hello to their guests. This is a nice touch in addition to the receiving line, but again, it's fairly impersonal and probably not what the diehard receiving-line advocates will find acceptable.

Be On Guard!

The cocktail hour will include drinks and hors d'oeuvres, socializing, and a bevy of guests asking you where the gift table is. Most reception facilities will set up an area that's somewhat out of the way so that guests aren't constantly tripping over gifts, but it shouldn't be so hidden that someone could rifle through the goodies without notice. Assign a friend or relative to keep an eye on the bride's bounty.

Your official duties at the reception are to be the hostess and to make sure everything goes according to plan. Again, there's being organized and assertive, and then there's crossing the line into being a little controlling and nutty. Nutty MOBs don't get anywhere with vendors if and when problems occur; cool-headed, well-spoken, well-informed MOBs do.

You and the bride will have discussed how the DJ or bandleader will introduce the wedding party. Expect to be heralded by the crowd when your name is announced. You'll take your seat and enjoy the fabulous dinner you and the bride have so carefully selected.

Order of Events

The cocktail hour is first, (during which the cake will be cut), followed by dinner, if you've chosen to serve a meal. Before anyone digs in, the best man traditionally offers a toast. The toasting doesn't need to stop there, though, and if your family loves to honor its members, you could find yourself listening to a long line of heartfelt speeches. If anyone would like to offer some kind words to the newlyweds, the traditional order of toasters is as follows: best man, groom's father, bride's dad, groom, bride, friends or relatives, maid of honor, groom's mother, MOB, and anyone else.

If something is amiss during dinner — the food is cold, or the service is lousy — find the banquet manager at once and make him aware of your concerns. Even if he can't fix something immediately, you need to give him the chance to rectify the situation; if he can't, you have every right to ask for a partial refund at the end of the evening. Reputable businesses will be very apologetic if something clearly isn't right, and will refund the price of a number of dinners. If you keep your complaints to yourself until the end of the reception, you may have far less leverage.

Once dinner has wrapped up, the dancing will start. The bride and groom share a dance, then the bride dances with her dad and the groom dances with his mom. This is followed by a dance for the parents of the newlyweds and then a song for the bride to dance with her father-in-law while you and the groom dance together. By this time, your guests could be yawning and ready to head home, and you'll be amazed when you realize that it's after ten o'clock. Combine some of these dances. They're very time-consuming, and you and the groom (or the bride and her new father-in-law) might feel very uncomfortable being in the spotlight together. Let the guests share the dance floor with the wedding party as soon as possible.

Toss It

The bouquet and garter toss is a tradition that has been around for ages; however, it has been falling out of favor — many have now come to see it as a sexist practice. If your daughter wants to skip this all together, let her. She knows what the young women in the crowd will be comfortable with. If she fears none of them will play along with a young bachelor inching a garter up a random female leg, don't argue with her. She may still want to throw the bouquet, though, and that's perfectly fine.

A Post-Wedding

Party After the reception has ended, some families like to keep the party train moving. You might want to host a post-wedding party, especially if the reception will be wrapping up fairly early in the evening and you know your guests will be looking to revel some more. This can be an informal, at-home affair including only a small, select number of guests, or you might want to look into keeping the party at the reception site after the newlyweds have hit the road. You can be sure that you'll end up with a larger number of guests if you choose the latter option, as there's no nice way to give anyone who's already in attendance the boot.