Start Spreading the News!
Before your daughter and her fiancé start shouting from the rooftops spreading their good news far and wide, who should be told first? (Or more correctly, second — after you?) It's important that the people closest to them hear about their impending marriage before the rest of the world does. This might mean that you have to sit on this information until both families have seen the ring with their own eyes.
Telling the Rest of the Gang
Who's next? Anyone with a vested interest in this wedding should not hear about it through the grapevine. The bride and groom should be the ones to announce the engagement to his parents, obviously. You are not permitted to jump the gun and call your daughter's future in-laws before they even know that they're about to become her in-laws.
Essential
Express yourself when your daughter announces her big news to you, even if you're stone-faced about almost everything in life. Be flattered that she came to you. This is an important gesture for your daughter.
Once the VIPs have been told about the engagement, the world is ready to hear about it. Make some phone calls to the relatives, or send out a slew of e-mails. You don't need to send out formal announcements, but you may if you are moved to do so.
Making the Announcement
If they plan on submitting a picture and formal announcement to the local paper, your daughter and her fiancé may want to make an appointment with a photographer to have a formal engagement portrait done. Depending on the length of the engagement, they may have some time on their hands before taking care of this, or they could find themselves rushing to a photographer immediately.
When is the appropriate time to make an announcement in the newspaper?
The engagement announcement (with or without picture) should really appear no sooner than six months prior to the wedding date — three to four months before the big day is closer to an ideal time.
What Should It Say?
The announcement will include the bride and groom's information (schooling, occupations, where they're living now, where they will live after the ceremony), along with the names of their parents. Most newspapers simply have forms for the bride and groom to fill out. If the groom's family lives elsewhere, make sure they receive a copy of the engagement photo so that they can put an announcement in their own local newspaper.
Listing (All) the Parents
If both sets of biological parents happen to be married still, writing the announcement is a piece of cake. Simply include where each set of parents lives, and it's done. If one or both sets of parents are divorced, the only effect it has on the announcement is that it will be longer — in order to include all of the parents' names.
For example, if both sets of parents are divorced, and every parent has remarried, the section of the announcement pertaining to them would read: “The bride is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Edward Smith of York, Maine and Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Dolittle of Bakersfield, California. The groom is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Allen Fox of Chicago, Illinois, and Mr. and Mrs. Gregory Brown of Boston, Massachusetts.”
Fact
In the case of naming a divorced, single mother of either the bride or groom, use the name she prefers. She may still prefer to be called Mrs. So-and-So (her former husband's first and last name), or she may simply go by her first and last name, without a “Mrs.” or “Ms.”
If one or more parent has remained single, the announcement would read, “The bride is the daughter of Ms. Valerie Turner of York, Maine, and Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Dolittle of Bakersfield, California. The groom is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Allen Fox of Chicago, Illinois, and Mr. Gregory Brown of Boston, Massachusetts.”
