Eventually, the novelty of telling everyone that your daughter is engaged will wear off, and you'll realize that you have an event to plan. If you've never put a wedding together before, you may be incredibly excited at the prospect of interviewing caterers and photographers, and hopefully, your experience will be trouble free. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. The two most important things that you can do are get organized and ask questions.

Enlisting Help

Don't try to do everything yourself. If your daughter isn't available to help out, enlist the help of your sister, a friend, or your husband. Planning a big wedding is a big job, and the more hands to help lighten your load, the better.

Timeline

Making a timeline will be the best thing you can do for yourself when organizing/planning for your daughter's wedding. Once the engaged couple has set the date, you can lay out a time frame that works best for you and your daughter to plan.

The Notebook

Your daughter, if she is the organized type, will start putting together a notebook of sorts (either electronically or in an actual notebook). If not, you should take charge and have a notebook. There has to be a centralized place where contracts, photos, and ideas are kept.

In a nutshell, keep all of your information together — in a file, a notebook, a drawer — where it's easily accessible. Don't leave brochures scattered all over your home, or you'll only add to your stress.

Wedding Professionals

Getting organized before going to meet with a wedding professional is essential. Whether you are going to these meetings together or separately, get organized for each vendor. Have a list of questions for each type of wedding professional. Don't leave a vendor until you're clear on every issue you wanted to address — these people get paid (at least in part) for answering potential customers' queries, and they want your business.

The Guest Lists

The details of who to invite to the actual wedding are in Chapter 9. During the planning process you will have multiple guest lists. Invest in a spreadsheet program to help keep track of who is being invited to what (or make this part of your notebook). Remember, you will have various parties to attend and host. Be sure that you take note of the guest list for every party that you do not host. This is of utmost importance when it comes to the actual wedding guest list. Your daughter and her fiancé will need to help communicate these lists to you when you are not the actual host. This will also help spark conversation at all pre-wedding through post-wedding events.

Keeping everything organized will not only help you reduce the stress that most weddings induce, but also help you enjoy the process. Asking questions will alleviate awkward conversations with the bride, groom, family, and friends. It will also reduce buyer's remorse and help foster a great relationship with all of your wedding professionals.