How do the costs for a destination wedding differ from a typical hometown event? In truth, you may get off a little easier — if the bride and groom can cover the cost of this wedding themselves. In order to make your decision on whether you're going to throw your hat (your banker's hat or your planner's hat) into this ring, you'll want some specifics.

The Lowdown on Destinations

A destination wedding is a wedding that takes place in a far-off location, whether that is a resort that specializes in such occasions, or an out-of-the-way vacation spot that holds a special meaning for the couple. Weddings of this nature are becoming more popular with the current generation of brides for several reasons:

• They're different from typical weddings back home.

• They're often held in a location known for its beauty.

• Couples can make this an intimate affair without offending the extended family.

If your daughter has dreams of getting married on the beach, or in the Alps, or on a dude ranch, she might be cooking up something creative for her wedding day. Though many brides opt to head for resorts that routinely host destination weddings, other brides want their wedding day to be as different as possible from anything else anyone has ever seen.

Until you hear the final word from the bride on this matter, all bets are off. At the same time, don't assume that because she's talking about a destination wedding that it's going to be a huge expense — she might be talking about driving to a little inn two or three hours down the road.

Your Obligation

Wherever this wedding takes place, you already know that the bride's family typically covers the bulk of the wedding expenses. However, when a bride and groom choose a destination wedding, they're usually held responsible for the cost of their own wedding. Why? Because getting married on a beautiful beach or in a mountaintop lodge or on a ranch is their choice. And as a result of the research they did to find this dream location, they'll know whether they can afford this venture — or not.

The planning for this event may be more difficult (if they're headed where no bride or groom has gone before), or it may be incredibly easy (some resorts offer wedding packages complete with planners to take care of every detail). Your daughter and her fiancé should know what they're getting into before booking reservations.

Guest Responsibilities

Since destination weddings are a newer trend, there is still some debate over who should ultimately pay which of the guests' bills. Generally, everyone should plan on paying for their own travel expenses. Other expense decisions (such as lodging and food) should be made on a case-by-case basis. If the bride and groom can afford to swing this tab, they should give some thought to doing so.

On the other hand, many destination brides argue that their out-of-town guests would be paying for their own hotel rooms if they were traveling to a traditional wedding in the bride's hometown, so there's no reason not to expect this of them.

There's logic to both sides of the discussion — the important thing is that no matter what the bride and groom decide, their guests should know well in advance of making their decision to attend the wedding.

You Can Join Us Now

If your daughter has chosen a destination wedding, you might be fretting over the fact that your family and friends may not be able to make the trip. The perfect solution? A post-wedding reception! Hang on, Mom. It may not be as perfect as you're thinking.

If the bride and groom chose to take their vows in a remote location because they wanted their wedding to be as intimate as possible, what kind of message does that send to the guests you're inviting to the after-the-fact reception? If they weren't privileged enough to witness the vows, why should they come running now to celebrate the union?

On the other hand, if the bride and groom had an extensive guest list for their destination wedding and only a handful of guests were able to attend, a reception at home makes sense. Guests may have already sent gifts, or they might bring them to this party. (Or they might not. Remember, guests are never obligated to give presents.)

Post-Wedding Reception Invitations

If you're hosting a post-wedding reception, you can go as swanky or as down-home as you'd like, though most of these parties tend to be cocktails-and-cake events. For a formal reception, you should send out formal, printed invitations at least a month before the party. The wording on an invitation to this party reads:

Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Tuttle

request the pleasure of your company

at a reception

in honor of

Mr. and Mrs. Harold Hart

on Sunday, August tenth

Two thousand and six

at two o'clock in the afternoon

Sarasota Yacht Club

Sarasota, Florida

If the groom's family is pitching in on this event, add their names below yours:

Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Tuttle

And

Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell Murray …