There is no way to plan a wedding without consulting the parents of the groom at some point. Communication with the mother, talking about budget, the rehearsal, and a whole slew of other topics will be imperative.

Communication with the Mother of the Groom

Once your daughter has given the ground rules to you, always follow her lead. Your daughter will inevitably know more about his mother than you do. Talking about the wedding planning process, the budget, and who is in charge of what are topics for you and the mother of the groom.

Just like your plan to communicate with your daughter for the duration of the engagement, you should have a similar plan to communicate with his mother. Communication with the mother of the groom during the wedding planning process will foster a better relationship during their marriage.

Budget Concerns

Though the bride's family once headed up most of the wedding and covered the bulk of its expenses, the reality of today's ceremonies and receptions is that the groom's family often pitches in on the cost (which means they also get to have a say in the planning).

If you're prepared to pay for the entire wedding, you may want to shut them out of the planning process entirely — but it's not a wise move. Remember, their child is entering into this marriage as well. If the in-laws want to take over certain aspects of the wedding, it's best to let them to avoid wedding-related spats and long-term hard feelings.

Now, this isn't to say that you should give them the go-ahead to book a bunch of clowns to entertain at the evening reception. What it means is that all of you (the bride and groom included) will need to sit down and discuss what type of wedding this is going to be: the size of the guest list, the menu, the entertainment … everything.

Guest Lists

If you plan on sending out Save the Date cards and the mother of the groom plans to have a whole separate reception in her state, you two will have a lot to discuss. The best idea is to open the lines of communication between you and the mother of the groom. Guest lists will play a large roll throughout the wedding planning process, and traditionally the mother of the groom will take care of the planning of the rehearsal dinner.

From the Save the Dates to the brunch the day after, you and the mother of groom will need to know who needs to be invited from both sides of the family to all of the festivities. If the mother of the groom decides to have a separate reception, don't feel frustrated or upset. This may actually keep the cost of the wedding down if she plans on inviting only family to the “real” wedding-day reception.