Same-Sex Weddings
If you have never been to a same-sex wedding and your daughter is happily engaged to a woman, know that you don't have to change much of your planning process. However, there are a few guidelines that should be followed.
Two MOBsYou may ask, “who gets to be MOB Number One and MOB Number Two?” In your daughter's mind, you are MOB Number One, and the same goes for her fiancée. You get to have the same privileges of being the Mother of the Bride as anyone else whose daughter gets engaged. The best part of this situation is that you get to have double the advice giving and gain a daughter in the process.
Who Pays for What?Now that you have two brides, traditional etiquette could change drastically when it comes to figuring out who should pay for what. The most popular view is that with two brides going down the aisle, both sets of parents should be willing to help split the costs evenly (if it is both their first wedding).
However, not everyone has the same budget guidelines (just like every other modern wedding). You, your daughter, her fiancée, and her soon-to-be mother-in-law will need to meet and discuss a plan. Get together with no real expectations and be ready to listen and see where everyone's budget is. You may have a large amount to spend or none at all. Her fiancée's mother may be in the same boat as you. Communication is the key, just like any other wedding.
If you were really looking forward to doing most of the planning for your daughter's wedding, readjust your thinking. Your daughter's wife-to-be and her mother may be having the same wedding planning dreams. If not, you still need to keep everyone in the loop!
If you have decided that you do not agree with the lifestyle your daughter has chosen, be very careful. In no way does this excuse you from being at your daughter's wedding. No matter what your views are about your daughter's choice of a partner in life, you need to be at your daughter's wedding and keep any negative comments to yourself. Remember, you are not the one getting married — your daughter's happiness is most important. Both brides have been dreaming about finding the love of their lives, and both want to have a dream wedding.
It has been your job as a mother to protect your daughter her entire life. You may not agree with everything your daughter does, but being a mother does not mean agreeing all the time. Make sure you do not invite guests that you know would disapprove of the marriage. Your daughter's wedding day is not the time to become political, to start arguments, or to brood. Keep your daughter's wedding the way she wants it — a happy and memorable day — regardless of your opinion.
