Your attitudes about sex and your own sexuality today are greatly influenced by the attitudes you had about these issues when you were younger. If you enjoyed sex and expected to be sexually satisfied when you were thirty, you're more likely to continue to enjoy sex as you move through your fifties and beyond. Nevertheless, some women report a declining interest in sex after menopause, and most experts agree that changes in attitude can play a big role in that shift.

Beyond the Physical Factor

A woman's psychological and emotional state can trigger many of the physical symptoms associated with aging sexuality. When a woman has low self-esteem or a poor body image, for example, she may not respond as well to stimulation. Anxiety, sleeplessness, and hot flashes can interfere with your ability to anticipate or enjoy sex. Decreased sexual activity itself can lead to diminished sexual desire, pleasure, and response. A woman with a sexually dysfunctional partner — or no partner at all — can be at risk of losing her own sexual health as a result.

You probably know that your most important responses to sexual stimulation take place in your brain. Perimenopause and natural menopause are transitions associated with aging, and if self-esteem suffers as a result of aging, sexual desire may suffer, too. Our bodies change during perimenopause; that, too, is an undeniable fact. The degree of that change varies, of course, and we have many tools to help maintain our physical health and vitality as we grow older. But women who combat weight gain, fatigue, depression, and feelings of isolation during peri-menopause are at risk for suffering from flagging sexual desire as well.

It's Not Just about You

Our partners — male or female — are changing, too. Two women going through perimenopause at the same time may experience a multitude of sexual issues as they try to maintain their sexual closeness as each rides her own roller coaster of menopausal symptoms. Men can experience a loss of sexual potency and desire as they age, and that can have a direct impact on the sexual confidence and health of their partners. If a sexual partner seems uninterested in sex or unable to sustain an erection or become aroused, it's easy for the other partner to feel inadequate, undesirable, and definitely unsexy. And it is devastating to a sense of self if your partner separates from you or divorces you, leaving you to feel bereft and inadequate.

Some women find that even in the face of losses, perimenopause is an opportunity to improve their sex lives. These major changes challenge women to reassess their lives, their relationships, and their attitudes toward living. You have a wide variety of physical and psychological tools available to you to help take your sexuality to new heights as your body enjoys sex for reasons that have nothing to do with reproduction.