Many women (or their partners) say that they become “more emotional” as menopause approaches. As hormone levels drop, and particularly if you are someone who suffers marked emotional changes premenstrually, you may notice that you don't seem to have the same control over your emotions as you used to. This may be a temporary response to physiologic changes, or it may be the sign of serious mental health concerns. It's worth a discussion with your health provider to sort that out. If your provider is someone who sees lots of perimenopausal women, he or she has a broad experience with the range of symptoms around menopause. You may need some help deciding whether you are “going crazy” or just passing through perimenopause.

At the same time that your hormones are fluctuating, you may also be going through truly trying emotional times. Losses such as children moving out, parents ill or dying, divorce, or job changes can overwhelm your ability to cope. Grief and depression may interfere with your day-today life and need to be addressed. If you have a family history of depression, or have struggled with it in the past, stay alert to the possibility that you could become clinically depressed and might need treatment.

Serious or Not?

Some of the symptoms of fluctuating hormones can be mistaken for, or can trigger, more serious mental health issues. Occasional anxiety is not the same as panic disorder; having a “blue” afternoon is not as ominous as having suicidal thoughts; irritability can be a normal variation, while rage is not. Sometimes it is difficult to sort through your experience of these emotional changes without professional help.

Grieving Your Youth

Another loss that women feel at this time and may be reluctant to discuss is the loss of their youth. As your children become more adult and involved in their own lives, and as you see the early signs of aging in your face and body, you begin to realize that you are no longer a youngster. In a culture where youth is valued (worshipped!), it is easy to think of yourself as less valuable. If you were always appreciated for your looks, you may feel a loss of power over your life. If your energy is beginning to lessen, you may think you are losing your ability to compete. Even though you may feel more confident in your life, you may still feel the loss of your youth, and that can provoke sadness, grief, and even depression.