What if She Rejects My Help?
The focus is always to support your loved one going through breast cancer treatment, completing her treatments, and in the aftermath of the whole experience. If you remember this and do not personalize any rejection of your kind gestures, it will help you as the support person. There may be instances in which your loved one feels that your presence triggers deep emotional feelings. She may not be ready to deal with these feelings and this may be a reason for rejecting your help. This may even be a subconscious thought and she may not be aware of why she does not want your help. But she will also know that your feelings are hurt. You may want to reassure her that whatever works for her, you will support. By offering your assistance, she will know that you care and that may simply be all that is needed from you.
In Her Own Words
One of my most painful memories is the day I met my friend at the supermarket, after several weeks of her not taking or returning my calls and not accepting a visit. I knew she was in a deep, dark place and I wanted to help, but she was not ready to receive it. In the dairy aisle, I hardly recognized my friend, who had lost her hair but had not yet purchased a wig. As soon as she saw me, I was thrilled to hear her say, “Why don't you come over to the house later?” After that, we talked, visited, and lamented. It was great to return to our regular, frequent contacts as friends.
— Marie, age 54, friend
