It is important to remember that whatever you do as a result of love is usually recognized. Even if you feel you have said or done the wrong thing, people are usually very forgiving when that thing has been done with good intentions. People are not experts at what to do for their loved ones when they have breast cancer and it probably is the first time that you have had to deal with such an illness. But if you have a good relationship with your loved one you could simply ask, “What can I do to help?” Knowing that perhaps there is nothing you can do, other than the fact that you are genuinely concerned, is at times just what the doctor ordered.

Extending a kindness by sending a card just to let her know you are thinking about her is one thing you can do when the person is not receptive to having you doing anything or helping in any way. Just reaching out is a positive thing that you can do and is appreciated by someone who is dealing with breast cancer treatments. Respect the fact that your role may be that of a bystander, ready to help as your loved one decides who will help her with what. Recognize that some individuals have a difficult time accepting help — as they are much more comfortable giving than receiving help from others. Just because they have breast cancer doesn't change who they are. Being aware of her personality and your past experience with her will allow you to help in the right way, which is always out of love.