Anger
This emotion usually occurs when an individual is feeling helpless and powerless. You say to yourself “Why me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” Anger is depicted in many different ways, depending on how the individual deals emotionally with significant trauma in her personal life, especially in a life-threatening situation such as having breast cancer and what it all means. People have preconceived fears about cancer, and most know someone close who had cancer and either survived or lost his or her life to it. All of your previous experiences have an impact on your feelings and knowledge of what you can expect. However, these perceptions may not be accurate and now this is happening to you. You may react with anger at yourself, blaming yourself for getting cancer because of something you may have done wrong in the past or for not taking care of your health the way you should. There is always something you will come up with to blame yourself for. You may be relentless in the way you treat yourself by manifesting your anger in a self-tormenting, self-centered way. For friends and family, this is hard to watch and they may try to reason with you that you did not cause it and feel helpless in their efforts.
Fact
You may have anger directed toward others. You may find yourself angry at life, God, the people you are closest to, the feelings of guilt that you have breast cancer, and angry that you can't do and care for others the way you would like. Feeling guilt that you have contemplated these negative thoughts against the very people whom you care about may even add to your anger.
Anger is not a rational feeling that can be explained, but it feels so real and it can rear its ugly head not only toward your family and friends, but also toward your doctor, health care professionals, or anyone who has come into your life since your breast cancer diagnosis. Anger can also be manifested in blaming yourself. In other words, if you did not go through that divorce, or if your family life had not been so dysfunctional, you may not have been so stressed, which compromised your immune system and started your body making breast cancer cells.
Though not rational, your thought process can go in every direction and your thoughts need to be given respect and time so you can sort through the anger and work things through. Getting stuck in this stage can be very sad for both you and for the important people around you and may alienate the support system that is so vital to your recovery. Let go of the anger and move forward. Too much energy is wasted in this stage, energy you will need for healing your body, mind, and spirit.
