Telling Your Friends
Most women find it easier to tell their friends before telling their close family members. In many cases, friendships are relationships in which you are supportive of each other and have developed strong communication skills. Often you have a long history and have gone through other trying experiences and crisis in your lives and have maintained a healthy bond. Friends can be a great support to you during your treatments and your friends can be a support to each other. Breast cancer is a difficult disease to keep from your friends and telling them will surely be difficult. You will know the best way to tell your friends about your breast cancer and the best time for you to have the conversation with them. Once you begin your breast cancer treatment, you will find that the energy to tell them will be compromised, which makes it best to tell them early on so that they can help and support you during this time. Not all friends are capable of being a support to you, so you choose who, and when, to tell. Your friends will react differently to the news and you may not know what to expect from them when they hear it. For those friends who, based on their reaction to your news, will not be able to support you, kindly thank them and move on to those friends who will be there for you in the ways that you need.
In Her Own Words
When I first heard about my friend's diagnosis, I spent a lot of time on the phone with her, day and night. The fear was sitting, waiting like a lion ready to pounce and overtake her. We talked, and we just stayed on the phone, sometimes not saying much. I sat on the floor in my bedroom, not really knowing what to say to her, but knowing I had to stay on the phone.
— Marie, age 54, friend
Be ready to let your friends help you, and identify some ways that they can help you before you tell them the news. If your circle of friends is quite large, you may want to consider writing an e-mail to them letting them know about your diagnosis and that you may not be as available. Explain as much or as little as you are comfortable with. Keep them updated when you want to keep in touch and are feeling up to it. Some women find it difficult to tell their story over and over, so writing an e-mail avoids repeating yourself and helps you to save your energy for getting through treatments and the healing process. You may even consider leaving a voice mail on your answering machine about your progress so that you can pick and choose who you will speak to and when. You may feel like you are not a good friend during your breast cancer treatments. This is truly a time where you need to put yourself first. Your true friends will be there for you at the end of your treatments. If they are not, then they really were not your true friends.
