Deciding How You Want to Live the Rest of Your Life
This life-altering experience of having breast cancer cannot be ignored and life just does not go on as it did before you had breast cancer. It is a time when you have to get back that trust you had in your body prior to having breast cancer.
Going forward, you begin to examine how you live your life and question all you do. You may decide that you want to make changes. You may decide that you are going to learn how to say no to many of the activities that previously consumed your time and zapped your energy.
The breast cancer journey is a struggle as well as a gift. The insight you gain from the experience can help you begin a new journey of the new you, valuing and making the most of each day.
Breast Cancer as a Motivator for Change
Once you have coped with cancer, your life is never the same. Because of the life-altering nature of breast cancer, many women tell about the minor and major changes that their cancer has inspired. Some women may find themselves taking on a new career, or looking at their family relationships and perhaps changing them if they find them to be toxic in their life. Other cancer survivors find themselves pursuing new leisure activities as well as other interests and hobbies. Cancer changes the way you look at your life and you most likely had never thought so much about your limited time on earth until your breast cancer diagnosis. You may find yourself acutely aware of how finite life is and feel propelled to make changes in your life. Your breast cancer has made you realize how much time you have wasted lamenting over past hurts and losses. Now you want to make the best use of your time and the pendulum seems to swing dramatically in the other direction.
In Her Own Words
I was diagnosed in November 1999. Two surgeries and endless weeks of radiation left me so badly burned and exhausted, I thought I would never survive. I will be forever grateful to my husband, friends, and all the brave women I met through a local breast cancer support program. Not a day goes by that I don't give thanks for still being here and being healthy.
— Kathi, age 54, 9-year survivor
Your view of things has changed and you become easily frustrated with the insignificant and unimportant aspects of your previous daily routines now that you are on the road of recovery. Breast cancer forces you to not have the same confidence in your body as you did prior to having breast cancer. Many women decide to shift their career to one that is more meaningful and provides them with a better quality of life. You may feel that you are not fulfilled at work, or because of your changing priorities, you embark on furthering your education, changing jobs, or taking on a job with less stress and even less money if necessary. You may even choose different friends or perhaps decide to end a long-term relationship as a result of the changes that have occurred in you. Your relationships often take on new meaning and what met your needs prior to having breast cancer may no longer work for you.
Having breast cancer does come with some barriers that need to be thought through prior to making any major change, especially in your career. You may need to make short-term goals as well as long-term goals when making changes. For example, paying off any medical bills or getting access to health insurance if you want to be self-employed may be challenging when you are making major changes. Slowly providing for these anticipated changes will help you to make your plans accordingly. It is normal to want to move forward quickly and you may feel an overwhelming sense of urgency in your life after breast cancer but it is important to move slowly and strategically when making major changes.
If you are like many breast cancer survivors, your illness has motivated you to change your life both in small and big ways on the job and in your personal life. Some tips to ease into life changes after breast cancer are:
CAREER CHANGES:
Identify the change that you envision for yourself.
Examine the reasons and motivation for your change.
Seek out people's advice that you respect.
Make short- and long-term goals to achieve your changes.
Research the career or business that you are pursuing.
Follow or shadow someone in the career that you are exploring.
Make an appointment with a career counselor for advice.
Evaluate what impact the change will have on your life; i.e., insurance coverage, retirement benefits, etc.
Be realistic in your pursuits, recognizing the value of time and energy that will be needed to achieve your change.
Evaluate and reflect if this life change is worth it to you.
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP CHANGES:
Identify how you want your relationships to change and with whom.
Examine the reasons and motivation for the change.
Play out the relationship change in your mind and the consequences it may bring.
Seek counseling prior to making any drastic changes such as within your marriage or when ending a long-standing relationship in your life.
Evaluate and reflect if this change in your relationship is worth it to you.
