As you try to define your “new normal,” family and friends will be looking for the business-as-usual side of you that existed before you had breast cancer — and so will you. You will soon realize that there is really no going back to the way things were before the life-changing experience that you have just survived. The changes in you may seem foreign to your family, friends, and coworkers. Some may appreciate the new you with a different set of priorities, but others would like you to return to your previous life. After all, that is what others are comfortable with and it will take time for them to see you in a different light.

It is not uncommon for others to want things back to their normal state for you because that is the expectation that you helped create. During this post-breast cancer treatment period, being aware of changes in your own priorities and values will help you to be sensitive to others adapting to those changes. You might have been a people-pleaser before your breast cancer diagnosis and now you have a newfound confidence that has evolved from your experience. You may no longer have the need to say yes when asked to volunteer or to do all the extra things that you did previously to win the hearts of others — you no longer find the need to be a super woman. After all, you have just been through breast cancer treatment. Your family and friends may be saying “Okay, that's enough,” or “Who are you and what did you do with the old you?” The changes that occur immediately after your breast cancer treatments will feel strong at first but with time you may find yourself converting back to your old self prior to breast cancer. Perhaps a good indication that you have slipped back into your former self is that you find yourself losing that sense of peace you had when you took better care of yourself.