Where the Heck Are You?
The first step is to get a sense of what you'll need to encourage in yourself. You might have a good sense of that, but it will be helpful to review your results from using the leadership assessment chart in Appendix A. The important thing is to look at the results honestly although not brutally. Beating yourself up does no good and only reinforces the status quo. It becomes an excuse. “Oh, I beat myself up really well today,” says the subconscious, “so everything must be okay now.” However, nothing has changed.
You want real change, not finger-wagging. The question is how to move. For all the time you've spent in school, one subject you probably never approached was how to achieve self-change. It's not something you can get out of a book, but there are places that teach the skills you need. Those establishments are called acting schools.
Acting the Part
Being able to cry on command isn't a prerequisite. But something that actors have to master is the ability to create characters. They must be able to establish sets of emotions, thoughts, postures, and reactions that express a created role. Some things, such as thoughts expressed in lines from the script or in movements, are within conscious control. Others, like emotions or attitudes, aren't.
You can learn from acting techniques. When actors want to create a feeling or characteristic in themselves, they are taught to act on stage as though they already have it, and the sense will come. You need to do much the same thing.
There is a type of acting, all too prevalent, which is really play-acting. You can see this when a politician tries to portray herself as the ideal candidate for the office she is running for. If you focus on you more than on what you have to do, you're play-acting, and it isn't doing you any good.
For example, say you find yourself lacking in creativity. How do you bring a greater sense of creativity? Start facing the world as you would if you were more creative. When faced with a problem, for example, instead of taking the first solution that comes to mind, think of two or three others first. Before assuming that you know how two facts connect, sit down with a piece of paper and brainstorm other ways they are connected, no matter how contrived or silly they sound. Read biographies of people known for their creativity, paying particular attention to how they approach their activities, and adapt their ways to what you do.
You can do this for virtually any characteristic outside of the physiological. (You're not going to develop better hair by acting as though you had it.) Nevertheless, you might find that you gain confidence by approaching life in the way you would if you possessed it — and that would likely prove more satisfying, anyway.
