Are You Sabotaging Your Romantic Relationships?
Every moment in a relationship, you have the power to feel positive or negative, beautiful or ugly, full of hopes and dreams or just hanging on. When you are with someone special and find yourself communicating with sarcasm, criticism, whining, or sniping, you are setting yourself up to elicit negative responses. Be the lover you want your partner to be. Remember that true love is taking care of the other person's happiness because it is essential to yours.
There are proven ways to attract someone good. For example, loving and respecting yourself makes you attractive to others. When you establish firm boundaries, you draw emotionally healthy people to you. When you demonstrate loyalty and trust, you attract those who honor commitments. Cultivating these qualities will attract others for whom these things are important.
Praising Behaviors You Want Repeated
When you attract people who respect and care for you, it makes you feel good about yourself. They appreciate you, and you know because they tell you and demonstrate their appreciation. That, in turn, endears them to you and raises your self-esteem. You are inclined to return the love and attention they shower upon you. Your praise and loving actions induce them to show more positive and romantic behavior. The cycle creates a healthy environment for your relationship to blossom.
Recognizing the Negative
Each time you find yourself in a foul mood and ready to pick a fight with your partner, think back to the exact moment you first began to feel negative. What triggered the shift? Understanding the triggers can enable you to choose to respond differently. Past hurts can cause you to slip into knee-jerk reactions to something your partner says or does. Take responsibility for your role in the argument. If it's part of an old pattern, watch for the triggers and shift the energy.
