Classic One-Liners

A one-liner is a joke that is told in one line or sentence. Or else several phrases are strung together and spoken without a break. For example: My room is so small …

I closed the door and the doorknob was in bed with me.

the mice are hunchbacked.

when I turn around, I'm next door.

I put the key in the keyhole and broke the window.

I have to go outside to change my mind.

when I stand up I'm on the second floor.

the ceiling gets dusted whenever I comb my hair.

One-liner: a joke that is told in one line or sentence

More One-Liners

A mummy is an Egyptian who's pressed for time.

I saw a sign on the back of a truck: “Careful Passing. I Like to Chew Tobacco.”

I'm a terrible cook. All the gingerbread boys I make are nearsighted so I've started using contact raisins.

What do you get if you cross a hill with an electric stove?

A mountain range.

My mom went to the beauty salon and got a mud pack — for three days she looked great — then the mud fell off.

The standup comic Henny Youngman is called the King of the One-Liners. Rodney

Dangerfield and Steven Wright are also terrific one-line jokesters. Here's one of Wright's loopy one-liners: “I live on a one-way, dead-end street. I don't know how I got there.”

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