The Art of Cunnilingus

During the time when the Kama Sutra was at its height in India, the “oral arts” were highly honored. Not many of the ancient pictures depicted the act, though, and even today it is much more common to see men being given oral sex than women.

Techniques for Kissing the Yoni

Cunnilingus is the term used for giving pleasure to the female's genitals with the mouth and tongue. It is derived from the ancient words Cunti and Kunda, or “womb of the Mother” and “womb of the universe.” Many Asiatic cultures used descriptive metaphors to describe genitals and lovemaking acts. They might call the vagina (yoni) a “lotus,” “jade palace,” or “cinnabar gate.” A man's penis (lingam) might be called a “wand of light,” “jade stalk,” or “jewel.”

Cleanliness is next to godliness so bathe together as a start to your erotic activity. Lay your partner down gently and touch her body lightly all over. You may even want to begin with a light massage. This doesn't have to be long, but it really helps to get both sexes more present and in the mood.

The use of the word “seed” when referring to the woman means her love juices, as the people of ancient India likened the semen of the man to the juices of the woman. “Love-temple” is vagina and “archway” is referring to the lips of the labia and the hood that covers the clitoris. These are sweet endearments that show honor and a relationship to the sacred nature of the body. Here are some of the types of maneuvers that the Kama Sutra recommends for giving a woman oral sex. Notice some of the words that are used:

  • The Quivering Kiss: “With delicate fingertips, pinch the arched lips of her house of love very, very slowly together, and kiss them as though you kissed her lower lip” (Part 2, Chapter 9, Sutra 31).

  • The Circling Tongue: “Now spread, indeed cleave asunder, that archway with your nose and let your tongue gently probe her ‘yoni' (vagina), with your nose, lips, and chin slowly circling” (Part 2, Chapter 9, Sutra 32).

  • The Tongue Massage: “Let your tongue rest for a moment in the archway to the flower bowed Lord's temple before entering to worship vigorously, causing her seed to flow” (Part 2, Chapter 9, Sutra 33).

  • Sucked: “Next, fasten your lips to hers and take deep kisses from this lovely one, your beloved, nibbling at her and sucking hard at her clitoris” (Part 2, Chapter 9, Sutra 37).

  • Sucked Up: “Cup and lift her buttocks, let your tongue-tip probe her navel, slither down to rotate skillfully in the archway of the love-god's dwelling and lap her love-water” (Part 2, Chapter 9, Sutra 38).

  • Stirring: “Stirring the root of her thighs, which her own hands are gripping and holding widely apart, your fluted tongue drinks at her sacred spring” (Part 2, Chapter 9, Sutra 39).

  • Sucked Hard: “Place your darling on a couch, set her feet to your shoulders, clasp her waist, suck hard and let your tongue stir her overflowing love-temple” (Part 2, Chapter 9, Sutra 40).

Helpful Pointers

Here are some important pointers to fully enjoy the art of oral sex. Give each other total permission to help the other get the most out of the experience. Begin your communication with a positive statement: “Honey, I like the way you are …” Then ask for a single, simple change: “Would you try moving your tongue a little to the left?” And, finally, “Thank you. That feels great,” or “Yum.” If it didn't work so well, then say that too. If you “sandwich” your request like this, you'll always get a positive response from your partner.

Approximately 80 percent of women indicate that the upper left area (2:00 on a clock if you are looking at her) is by far the most sensitive. Once you've discovered this, you'll have an easier time pleasuring her.

With your newfound communication skills, you can get down to the business of pleasure. Here is another fun and educational experience. Ask your lover if there is any location on her clitoris that feels better than any other place. Have her move her lubricated finger very slowly all the way around her clitoris.

The important thing about touch is that the giver's fingers and hands should feel better than the receiver's skin. Think about it: If what you are doing feels really good to you; then it's going to feel really good to your partner. Softly stroke your forearm right now. Try to make your fingers feel better than your arm. It takes focus to do this, but the outcome is fantastic. Use your hands when you are giving oral caresses by running them lightly over her thighs and soft hair.

It's important to note that more women can achieve the orgasmic state through oral sex and clitoral stimulation than through intercourse. A survey taken on the Web site tantra.com revealed that only 23 percent said they always have orgasms when having partnered sex.

Get some tip-of-your-tongue exercise first by playing with a “pea in a pod.” Explore all around the pea with your tongue-tip. You can also flick your tongue over and behind your front teeth when you're driving or doing something where no one will notice. Focus your attention on the tip of your tongue to get the maximum out of your exercises.

The Act

Start by kissing her inner tights, stroking them lightly, and then move slowly inward, with focused attention. Use a more general kind of approach and then get specific. Women generally prefer to start slowly and build their passion as they go. Relaxation and trust are built this way, and so is her orgasmic response.

As you begin to kiss her vulva (the external genital organs of the female, including the labia, clitoris, and vestibule of the vagina) area, use your fingers to tenderly separate the lips of her labia. You can kiss and lick the outer and inner labia, slowly working your way to the clitoral hood and the clitoris. Use longer, sweeping strokes to begin with and shorter strokes when you get near her clitoris.

You may want to experiment with changing positions a few times while you are giving her oral kisses. Try having her lie on her back while you are on your hands and knees above one of her shoulders. If she reports that her clitoris is more sensitive on her left, then be on her left side. If it is the right, then be above her right shoulder. This allows you to pleasure the side of her clitoris that is the most sensitive with direct action from your tongue.

Women tend to like sustained, repetitive motions for a while and then a move of location and a slightly different stroke. Ask your partner what she likes, and then periodically, ask her if she likes what you are doing at a specific moment.

As she gets closer to the orgasmic zone, remind her to relax and breathe deeply into her belly. If she is tending to arch her back, that will give you more access to her clitoris. If she is tending to curl inward a little, you may be being too aggressive and a bit too firm in your touch. Back off a little and watch her response. The clitoris is very sensitive.

This is an interactive game you are playing. Trust your insight and intuition but ask for feedback, too. The better you get at both of these modalities of “knowing,” the higher the two of you will go together.

Read More The Art of Kissing and Oral Sex
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