Making Your Wedding Day Meaningful Through Prayer
Judaism teaches that our spiritual and religious life is supposed to be led in the real world and not just in the synagogue, religious school, or on a mountain top. Rituals and prayers that help to create this focus are programmed into Jewish everyday life. This allows us to do all the mundane things we need to and have our deeper spiritual reflection, too. To facilitate the wedding day's Yom Kippur atmosphere, in addition to actually abstaining from food and drink, time is created for the bride and groom to reflect and recite special prayers.
The amidah, which is traditionally recited three times a day, is the most basic Jewish prayer. It is the only prayer actually referred to as “prayer” in the Talmud and is said completely silently and alone, even in a large group. The amidah is an intimate experience between you and God, and the only person who should be able to hear your amidah is yourself.
The amidah opens with praises of God, and then contains a long section in which we humans ask God for the things we need. The prayer closes with words of thanks. Brides and grooms usually insert two special prayers into the amidah on this day if they are accustomed to regular Hebrew prayer.
If not everyone knows that you are fasting on your wedding day, tell your maid of honor or best man and ask them to tell people so that you are not offered food or thought strange for not eating. In addition, they should help you find a time and place to be alone for reflection the morning of your big day.
The first special prayer added to the amidah on one's wedding day is the anaynu prayer. This is a paragraph added on every fast day petitioning God to answer our prayers. This prayer asks God not to see the bad that we have done and to answer our prayers quickly. The anaynu prayer also asks God to be present to us and askes God not to “hide Your face from us.”
The function of the anaynu is to help us feel the closeness of God through our fasting and to ask that God answer our prayers, especially today since we are experiencing discomfort in a spiritual effort. On a wedding day the bride and groom are not only praying for personal tishuvah but for years of happiness, joy, and fulfillment together in their marriage. Asking God to grant our wishes in light of our intense fasting efforts is especially appropriate on this day.
The other prayer that is formally added to the amidah is the viduy, the traditional confessionary prayer. Even if one is not fasting, the viduy prayer should still be said and this time taken for reflection and return.
Make sure to pack a siddur, a Jewish prayer book for yourself if you will be praying alone the day of your wedding. You can certainly pray from the heart, but having the special penitential prayers printed can help you jumpstart your personal tishuvah and prayer.
