Though the actual wedding ceremony will take place under the chuppah, as in most weddings the bride, groom, and any members of the wedding party usually walk down an aisle from the back of the room. If the chuppah is to take place outside, the wedding party walks out from behind the audience. There are no requirements for the order in which the wedding party walks down the aisle except that the bride should walk to the chuppah last.

Walking Down the Aisle as a Queen and King

When the groom, and especially the bride, walk down the aisle, the custom is for everyone to stand. This is because on their wedding day we consider the bride and groom to be as honored as a queen and king. Further reflecting this formality, there is a Jewish custom among some people that those who accompany the bride and groom down the aisle carry candles or torches. Candles and fire evoke the moments at Mount Sinai during which, amid lightning and thunder, the Jewish people accepted the Torah and thereby became “married” to the Torah and to God.

An additional reason for candles at a wedding is that the bride and groom themselves are compared to fire. The Hebrew word for husband is composed of three Hebrew letters — alef, yod, and shin — and the Hebrew word for wife is also composed of three letters — alef, shin, and heh. The two letters both words have in common are alef and shin, spelling the word aish, which means fire in Hebrew. The two letters each word brings to the mix are yod and heh, which spells one of the Hebrew names of God. The Talmud teaches that if the divine name is not present in a relationship it will be as disharmonious as an unbridled fire, which consumes. But if God is present in a relationship, it will embody a fire that can facilitate warmth, closeness, and love. Of course, according to many customs no candles are carried down the aisle at all. If your family has a particular custom you may want to keep with that; if they do not, feel free to discuss, imagine, and experiment.

Approaching the Chuppah

As the groom approaches the chuppah, the cantor, rabbi, or another appointed individual with a good voice declares, “Baruch habah.” (“Blessed is he that approaches.”) Following these opening words is an additional sentence known as mi adir, which asks that God bless the chatan and kalah, the groom and bride.

When the bride approaches the chuppah the groom walks out in front of the chuppah to meet her and together they enter their house, which the chuppah represents. The cantor then declares, “Birucha haba'ah.” (“Blessed is she that approaches.”) This is followed often by a traditional chant in Hebrew declaring the beauty of the bride and the relationship of bride and groom to each other, and asks God to bless them.

Circles of Wholeness and Protection

When the bride and groom enter under their chuppah canopy, there is a custom among Ashkenazi Jews that the bride circles the groom three times. In some customs, the bride circles her groom seven times. The bride's mother and/or her mother-in-law will often walk behind her, accompanying her and helping to be sure she is steady on her feet, especially if she has a long train. Jewish thought gives many reasons for these circles. Some see them as the “walls” of the chuppah, which are formed by the couple themselves, or by the wife, who in Jewish tradition is considered the foundation of the family and the home.

As with much of the wedding ceremony, a distinction should be made between custom and law. While the giving of a ring, witnesses, and a ketubah are part of Jewish law, customs such as whether to have the bride circle the groom or not, and if so how many times, are much more flexible. Most Sephardic Jews do not have any circles and customs differ among Ashkenazi Jews.

Becoming familiar with the procedures of a Jewish wedding and getting to know the areas of flexibility within Jewish law and tradition can be helpful in making the ceremony meaningful and in personalizing it. You might choose not to circle at all or you might choose to circle each other (though not at the same time!) three or seven times. If you lean more toward the traditional, you may want to have the bride circle the groom seven times and the groom not circle the bride at all. On the other hand, if you wish to express a commitment to tradition but also want the groom to “revolve” around the bride, perhaps he could perform three or seven of his own circles around his bride after she circles him.