Bedekin: Veiling of the Bride
The bedekin is a very joyous moment and a wonderful way to prepare for the more solemn ceremony that is about to come. When the tish is finished, the band is notified and they strike up a lively wedding tune. If there is no band in the room, people can sing a Jewish wedding tune. If the bride and groom are in separate rooms, the groom — with his father, the bride's father, and the rabbi at his side — walks into the bride's room in the center of a very lively parade of guests. Some dance in front of the groom, leading the way, and some follow. The groom walks with full retinue like the king he is on this day.
When the groom reaches the bride, especially if they have not seen each other for a period of time, it is a very auspicious moment. The groom approaches the bride who is seated upon her “throne,” lifts her veil, exchanges words with her, and places her veil back down.
The idea of the bedekin is rooted in several ancient biblical episodes. In the book of Birashit, Genesis, when Eliezer brought Rebecca to meet Isaac they came across Isaac in a field mediating and praying. As Rebecca approached on her camel she saw Isaac from afar, was so moved that she fell off her camel, and then covered her face with a veil. The rabbis explain that Rebecca wanted to be loved not for her outside appearance, which was very beautiful, but for her inner depth. Perhaps seeing Isaac in the midst of his meditations prompted Rebecca to focus on the deeper side of marriage at that moment.
Some traditional brides, wanting their bedekin to be more than checking to see if it is the right bride, choose to present the chatan with a gift after he lifts her veil. This gift is often his kittel or talit that he will wear under the chuppah at the approaching ceremony.
The other biblical episode from which the bedekin ceremony is derived is the story of Jacob and Rachel. Jacob went to the house of his uncle Laban and fell in love with Rachel, Laban's youngest daughter. Laban agreed to let Jacob and Rachel marry, but only on the condition that Jacob work for Laban for seven years. Jacob does this easily out if his love for Rachel, but on their wedding night Jacob realized he had not been given Rachel in marriage but Leah, her older sister.
Indignant, Jacob approached Laban and asked why he fooled him. Laban replied that their custom is for the oldest daughter to be given in marriage first and if Jacob would like to marry his true love, Rachel, he would have to work an additional seven years for her. Jacob accepted out of his deep love for Rachel, despite having been fooled. In remembrance of this, the groom lifts up the veil and checks to make sure he is about to marry the right woman.
