Space for Pre-Ceremony Traditions
As always, location is an important consideration in planning your wedding. You will need three or more spaces at your wedding. Many traditional Jewish weddings begin with a chatan's tish, the groom's table, in one room and a bride's kabalat panim, or reception, in another. If the bride and groom are seeing each other prior to the ceremony, these could be in the same room, but if they are spending the day or week before the wedding apart, they will need two rooms.
The Groom's Tish Room
The word tish literally means table in Yiddish, which was the language the Jewish people spoke in Eastern Europe for about 1,000 years. However, the tish refers to the gathering, not usually to an actual table. Friends, family, and guests gather at the groom's tish before the ceremony to toast the groom, though he usually does not drink because he must be of sound mind and body for the ceremony. Any state or religious documents are often signed at the tish.
The room for the groom's tish must be able to accommodate a long table and chairs for people to eat and drink a bit. Usually there are bottles of liquor, soft drinks, and cake or hors d'oeuvres. If the wedding is large, there should be ample room for people to stand around the table and watch the proceedings, even if there might not be enough room for everyone to sit at the table.
Be sure to talk to your rabbi and discuss with each other about whether you are planning to see each other the day of the wedding before the ceremony. This will help you decide what kind of wedding space to secure and how many rooms you will need.
The actual table should have seats for guests, a seat for the groom in the middle, and seats for the father of the bride and the father of the groom flanking the groom's chair. Usually there is a chair for the rabbi next to them or opposite them, and sometimes there are chairs for the witnesses who will sign the various documents.
The Bride's Reception Room
At the same time as the groom's tish, the kabalat panim, the bride's reception, is usually in an adjacent room or in a main reception area. The bride is usually in a special chair since she is considered to be a like a queen for the day. Though this is not always the case, the bride is often on a dais and people come up to see her one at a time or in small groups to wish her well and say mazel tov. Sometimes she is surrounded on both sides — on one side by her mother and on the other by the groom's mother, though they would be seated in regular chairs in contrast to the bride's throne. There are often hors d'oeuvres or some food for guests.
The word kabalat panim literally means the “receiving of faces” or people. It can sometimes refer to the bride's reception, though often it refers to the whole pre-ceremony celebration, on both the bride and groom's sides.
The best set-up for the kabalat panim and tish would be to have the bride's reception room and the groom's table room near each other so guests can move between them. This is especially relevant if both male and female guests are welcome in both rooms. Following the tish and the kabalat panim, the groom is usually led to the bride by friends and relatives. A hallway between the two rooms would be ideal, but any space will do.
