Wedding Party Attire
The notion of the bride being specially adorned goes far back in Judaism. The Midrash says that God adorned Eve with twenty-four adornments for her wedding to Adam in the Garden of Eden. White is a symbol of purity and forgiveness, and since the wedding day is a small Yom Kippur, or day of atonement, for the bride and groom, it is fitting that they both wear white. At many Jewish weddings, the groom wears a white robe over his suit or tuxedo while he is under the chuppah. This robe is called a kittel. There are no requirements in Jewish tradition that dictate the color of the clothing of the rest of the bridal party.
Modesty in Appearance and Expenditure
In Judaism, modesty in dress is very important. In Jewish thought God is seen as omnipresent; we are always standing before the Divine, and our dress should befit such an audience. The wedding ceremony is a holy one. Therefore, even if it is not held in the synagogue, our dress should befit such a ceremony. Some rabbis will require that the bride's dress and the dresses of the bridesmaids modestly cover their legs and upper body.
In some cities, finding dresses that will conform to traditional Jewish expectations of modesty, or tzniut, may be a challenging task. Start searching early and seek out bridal salons that can help you find a gown that can be altered. Bridesmaids' dresses will be an even bigger challenge because manufacturers may not alter the design. You can design jackets, and many brides purchase fabric for their attendants, who pay to have custom dresses made in accordance with standards of modesty.
If you are being married by a rabbi who requires that your shoulders be covered under the chuppah but you are not planning to have a dress that will conform to this, you might want to consider discussing with the rabbi whether a shawl that matches your dress could be worn during the ceremony. Discuss with your rabbi his requirements for head coverings for men and women.
If you don't plan to keep your wedding dress or the bridesmaids' dresses, you might want to consider donating them to a wedding dress bank for people who cannot afford a new dress for their own wedding. Many Jewish communities and synagogues have these, and charitable organizations in many cities provide formal dresses free of charge.
Before ordering dresses for your wedding party, call a meeting of your bridesmaids and have a discussion about what style and color will work with the overall plan and what they like. Some brides choose a color and some overall criteria, and each bridesmaid is responsible for procuring her own dress. This way, money and effort is not wasted on a dress that will only be worn once. Indeed, wasting time and money is forbidden in Judaism as part of the Bible's commandment against wanton waste and destruction, baal tashchit.
Rabbi and Witnesses
As a performer of myriad weddings, the rabbi is usually given much leeway in dress. Some rabbis will have a tuxedo for black tie weddings, but even if the wedding is a very formal one, the rabbi will often wear his own dark suit. If you want the rabbi to wear a tuxedo, it is appropriate to offer to rent it for him.
Several parts of a Jewish wedding ceremony may require witnesses. The witnesses do not need to be an official part of your wedding party. If they are not a member of the wedding party they do not need to walk down the aisle or have the same clothing as the rest of the wedding party. They can simply be called up at the proper times to do their duty and honor.
