The head of the household — either the grandfather, the father, or the eldest son — will most likely act as your entertainer, and will be seated at the head of the table. Chairs are not a common feature in Japanese homes. Instead, you will be offered a zabuton (“floor cushion”) upon which to rest.

Start out on your knees with your bottom resting on your heels, if at all possible. This is a formal sitting position that is appropriate for the beginning of the meal. Try to stay in this position at least through the kampai and the itadakimasu.

Sitting cross-legged is fine for men, but is still considered rather crude for women, so many of them eventually slump to the side, sitting on their hip, with their legs folded underneath. Changing sides often helps to keep the pins and needles away. Be careful when you stand up after sitting for a while, however, as your legs may give out.

Your hosts will likely notice your effort to be polite and insist that you relax and make yourself at home:

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You are familiar with the phrase mo ii desu ka in connection with requests. A common response to the request is, of course, Doozo. Another possible response is Ii desu yo. Look at the first sample sentence, for example. The speaker is telling you that it is okay to do something before you even ask. The yo at the end of the sentence is a verbal form of punctuation, like ka. Ka serves as a question mark, while yo serves as an exclamation point.

The verb in the second example, shimasu (“to do”), is modified like the adjectives above. Only in this case, the -na suffix puts it in its negative form. The -kute ending lets the listener know that this action is what is under scrutiny.

After insisting that you are fine a few times, it is okay to discreetly stretch out your legs under the table. Most Westerners are unaccustomed to sitting on the floor for long periods at a time and it may take some getting used to. Offering to assist with bringing food or drinks or clearing empty dishes will get you up and moving around. Visiting the restroom will also give you an opportunity to stretch your legs.