Birthday parties, Christmas parties, and recently even Halloween parties, are becoming more common in Japan. On the flip side, there are the less joyous occasions, such as funerals, where it is nonetheless important to show your support with some words of comfort.

Happy Birthday

The birthday greeting of choice for the birthday boy or girl is:

Though not much fuss was made about birthdays in the past, many Japanese households now celebrate “American-style,” with cakes and candles. It remains a rather intimate family gathering, however, rather than a party with ten six-year-olds running around.

There are two ways to ask “How old are you?” in Japanese:

The first example is more polite, although it is still considered rude to ask women of any age how old they are. The second example may be easier to remember because the response contains some of the same words:

This sample answer can be used regardless of how the question is put. When referring to your age, the regular number words followed by sai are almost always acceptable. There is one exception, however, for twenty-year-olds.

Japanese can legally drink, smoke, and vote at the age of twenty. It is a time for coming-of-age ceremonies and recognition as an adult by members of the community. This may be why there is a special phrase for “I am twenty”: Hatachi desu.

Congratulations!

There are a variety of situations, aside from birthdays, in which you may want to say o-medetoo gozaimasu. In Japanese, congratulatory phrases are constructed by placing the reason for the special occasion in front of the “congrats.”

Another phrase that sounds like omedetoo is omedeta. This is used when asking about an upcoming special event, like the birth of a baby.

My Condolences

Hopefully, you will not need to use the following phrases, but in the event that you do, it is best to be prepared. If someone you know loses a loved one, the proper word of sympathy is samishiku narimashita. Literally translated, this phrase means, “You have become lonely.” Samishii is a word that describes the combined feelings of sadness and loneliness. The ku is an adjective modifier, and narimashita means, “have become.” Another possible phrase to express your condolences is go-shuusho-sama-deshita. This mouthful of a phrase means, “You must be sad.”

Japanese funerals are predominately Buddhist, although several sects exist, so the ceremonies vary greatly. Gifts of money are common, presented in envelopes that are decorated with black and silver bows.