Waking up to a robust konnichiwa coming from their genkan, a young Australian couple teaching English in the Japanese countryside throw on their clothes and cautiously poke their heads out. Standing in his rubber boots, a neighboring farmer holds out a bunch of daikon radishes and a prettily wrapped box from the local cake shop. After apologizing for the early hour, he goes on to explain that his daughter is studying for the English proficiency exam and has written an essay. Would they be so kind as to look it over and correct any mistakes? Accepting the radishes and the cakes, the Australian couple can only agree to the request.

Complicated Thanks

Gifts in rural Japan are used as an extra layer of cream (on top of polite words) when requesting a favor. In our example, it is not necessary for the Australians to give a return gift, but there are occasions when it becomes almost mandatory. Your mother may have taught you to write “thank-you” cards, but it is not that simple in Japan. What and how much to give in return for receiving a gift, especially if it is not monetary, can be confusing. Thanks to the market's capitalization of this gift-giving custom, determining the required value of your return gifts is an available service at many stores.

Asking your neighbors or a friend who knows about such things (someone different than the gift-giver, of course) for assistance is also acceptable:

Yeah for Yen

As a rule, gifts of money require return gifts of at least half the value. One exception is a gift of money prior to going on a trip; these gifts are called o-senbetsu. If you receive o-senbetsu, it is fine to just bring back o-miyage (“a souvenir”) for that person. Gifts of money can be expected on such big occasions as weddings, the birth of a child, graduations, and funerals. If you spend some time in the hospital, people may also give you money to help offset your expenses.

When receiving a gift, it is appropriate to refuse once or twice before accepting with a deep bow and an Itadakimasu. When the gift is in the form of o-miyage, it is not necessary to supply a return gift, but if you go on a trip somewhere, it is best to remember those who have remembered you. Keeping a list of benefactors may help you keep it all straight. If the o-miyage is simply candy, it is fine to just say O-miyage o arigatoo or O-miyage gochi-soo-sama desu/deshita.