Nuts and Bolts of Cultural Differences
Would you like wine with dinner? While this question is not controversial in most settings, in a Muslim culture, it can be seen as insensitive, even insulting. How about midday naps? In certain cultures they're customary, while in others, the average person would deem a healthy adult who leaves work to nap at noon as lazy or irresponsible.
Do you feel comfortable making personal decisions as a large extended family group, or do you prefer to keep matters just between you and your partner? These issues are evidence of cultural roots in one place or another or one religion or another. How you put them together can make or break your marriage.
Essential
Things not said and divisive issues prompted by cultural differences don't simply go away; they fester and erode your marriage. To have a healthy marriage, you must say how you feel and what you need in order to feel safe, loved, and respected in your home and also when you're in the presence of extended family.
The first step to do this in a positive, creative manner is to identify your differences. Then learn as much as you can about each other's cultures, religions, or backgrounds. Where were your partner's grandparents born? How many generations have lived in America? Which relative was the first, if any have, to attend college? Who is the black sheep in your partner's family? What did he do to get that mantle?
A good rule of thumb is not to assume you understand aspects of another culture, or that you understand each other. Caution is best.
