If you've managed to stay married past the 20-year mark or beyond, you are entitled to feel great pride in this accomplishment. You stuck it out when things got tough. You've forgiven innumerable slights, even a partner's grave trespasses. In short, you've learned how to roll with all the good and bad that a long-term marriage can serve up.

Becoming Grandparents, Together

One of the near-universally adored experiences in life is being a grandparent. Although with today's blended families, you have as much chance of becoming a step-grandparent as a biological one, if you have the exquisite pleasure of sharing this experience in a long-term marriage with a biological grandchild, the two of you have taken the grand prize.

The precise nature of this relationship depends of course on geographic distance and the wishes of the child's parents. The other caution is treating the shaping of this grandparent-grandchild relationship as a joint decision with your spouse, not making it an either/or proposition.

Companions for Life

At each stage of marriage, the constant factor determining the quality of your lives together is the friendship that forms the foundation of your relationship. In a long-term marriage, you've been with your best friend for a quarter, perhaps a third or more of your lives. Nothing can replace the trust and intimacy of such a long and rich friendship.

Without a doubt, the secret of maintaining this friendship within marriage for as long as you have is your combined ability to be open to change and personal growth.

It's equally important to recognize that keeping a marriage fresh is hard work. In their book, The Best Half of Life, Ray and Anne Ortlund make this point eloquently when they write, “We don't naturally drift closer together, we drift further apart. We have to fight our way back to each other, day after day, year after year, as long as we live.”

So what does a true marriage of loving companions look and sound like? It's looking up from a book or greeting a spouse at the end of the day with the simple thought, “I'm so glad you're here.” And then, beginning your first sentence with the words, “I just can't wait to tell you….” These are the priceless joys of long-term marriage.