Give Me a Ring-a-Ling
The issue of finding the perfect engagement ring was addressed in Chapter 1. Now it's time for you to take a gander at wedding bands. You are traditionally expected to foot the bill for your bride's rings, so you're going to work with the budget you've established and decide what you can reasonably afford
If you've already splurged on a big old rock for your bride's engagement ring, you may be planning on buying her a more subdued wedding band. She may be thinking, “More rocks! More rocks!” Since most brides pick out their own wedding bands nowadays, addressing this topic before the two of you walk into the jewelry store is mandatory.
Hers and HisAlthough the bride traditionally foots the bill for it, you need to choose a band for yourself. Many men make this decision quickly — too quickly — because they honestly don't believe that they are going to be required to wear the thing anyway. After all, your bride understands that you don't wear jewelry.
Well, she won't understand it after the wedding, so you'd best choose a ring that feels good on your finger. Though it may be against everything you've ever advocated for other men, you will need to actually try on some rings before choosing the one that you will wear every day for the rest of your life. Don't make your selection from the jewelry case without even handling it.
You'll feel far more at ease explaining your position to her in the privacy of your home instead of in front of the glare of all those diamonds. She'll also be more likely to hear what you're saying if she's not surrounded by cases of jewels — all of them
If you're looking at some very ornate designs, consider whether the ring feels heavy on your finger, if it twists because of the ornamentation, or if it just feels strange to you. Though any ring will take a little getting used to, a ring that is unusually large or heavy may never feel right to you, especially if you're not the jewelry-wearing type.
When making a decision about your ring, consider the following:.
Your usual wardrobe. Are you loving the diamond-and-ruby encrusted look, even though you wear jeans and flannel every day of your life? If it's an out-of-character look for you, pass it up.
Your line of work. Large rings may be a hazard for men who work with large machinery. It'll be hard to wear a ring if your finger is missing.
Any skin conditions. If you suffer from eczema on your hands, for example, any ring may increase your suffering. Choosing a heavy or ornate ring may drive you to itching distraction for the rest of your life. (Platinum, though expensive, is a good hypoallergenic choice.)
Keep in mind that your rings do not need to match. If you prefer the look of plain silver and your bride is into filigree gold, you can each have the ring you want. The important thing is the sentiment behind those bands, not their appearance.
Though there's hardly anything more personal than choosing a wedding ring, you can take it a step further to incorporate specific traits of your relationship into this symbol of your union. A custom jeweler or an artist who works in the jewelry trade can help you and your bride choose an unusual set of bands or help you design your own bands. You can incorporate your loves and/or hobbies into a wedding band. You're both into sailing? Choose wedding bands with a wave design. You met while performing onstage? Design a pair of rings with musical notes or a Shakespearean flair to them. If you share a common ethnic background, you might also consider working a symbol of your heritage into your rings (an Irish claddagh ring, or a Greek key design, for example).
You don't need to sit around and wait for the clock to tick away toward your wedding. Even if the big day is six months off, you can get started on this important project. The rings are a vital part of the actual wedding ceremony, after all. You wouldn't want to be without them on the big day simply because you procrastinated.
Is there a ring you've inherited — one that your bride isn't crazy about, because she didn't choose it? Why not include the stones and/or the metal into another, custom-designed ring? In this age of computer design, there's almost no limit to what you can include in your wedding bands. Sketch something out, take it to your artist or custom jeweler, and discuss what she or he can make of it. It's that easy. Deciding on the design is the hardest part.
One caveat: When designing your own rings, it's vital that you start early. Some jewelers working with computer design software may have to send your design out to another manufacturer, and then the ring will be shipped back once completed. Some jewelers may offer “loaner rings” which you'll be allowed to use for your ceremony in the event that your custom rings are not going to arrive in time. Your jeweler may not offer this perk, and in any event, you and your bride may be against the whole idea of “rental rings.” Give yourselves a minimum of two months.
Recycled RingsAnother idea for finding a unique wedding band is to start making the rounds at estate auctions. The jewelry you'll find there is typically less expensive than what you'll find in a jewelry store, and especially if your bride is into antiques and/or vintage clothing, you may just find something that no one else can offer — and something you never could have designed.
