Beware: Wedding Emotions Ahead
Unless you've already witnessed a sibling's or a close friend's wedding planning season, you may be surprised to learn that seemingly normal people start to lose it when a wedding is in the works. This can begin immediately after the engagement, so the more aware you are of this potential problem, the better off you'll be. Dealing with your emotional bride and family members is no walk in the park. Be prepared.Tread Lightly
Your bride is immediately going to start the search for the perfect dress, the one that makes her feel like a princess, the one that makes her look busty
You may not understand her frustration at not being able to find the ideal dress. When she comes home crying because she found The Dress, but it costs about $500 more than she wants to spend, you might want to plug your ears. As far as you're concerned, she could show up at the altar wearing overalls and you'd still think she's the most beautiful woman on Earth.
Concede the fact that her wedding planning experience and your wedding planning experience are probably very different from each other. And then cut her a little slack and pass her the tissue box if she needs it.
The best thing you can do in this situation is to listen to her. Give her a back rub when she's tense from a day of dress shopping. Make her a cup of tea and hand her some aspirin if she has a headache. Don't initiate a conversation about the ridiculousness of hunting down a dress that seems as elusive as an endangered animal. While your point may be valid, this is not the time to raise the issue. You'll make her cry even more, and she'll also tell you that you couldn't possibly understand how she feels — which you'll acknowledge as being true.
Your bride is living through a highly emotional time in her life; she's actually planning the wedding she's likely been dreaming of for years. That's some serious pressure. Even when men are very involved in the wedding planning process, they tend to be far less prone to tears when they learn that something (the right tux, or a certain band) isn't available for their big day.Dealing with Family
You and your fiancée are the ones headed to the altar, so why are you going head-to-head with her mother? And yours?
You may think it seems easiest to simply get out of the way and let the opinionated kin have his or her way — but chances are you'll regret it. If you care at all about how your wedding proceeds, you need to nip this type of behavior in the bud by reminding your brother, for example, that if he doesn't shape up he can — and will — be replaced.
If there hasn't been a wedding in your family, you may not know that certain family members sometimes become completely unrecognizable during the planning stages. Mothers go berserk; formerly silent fathers put their two cents in; sisters become experts on bridesmaid dresses; and brothers … well, most brothers really don't care, but if you ask one to be a groomsman, he may tell you that he is not going to wear a tuxedo. If that's part of the deal, you can forget it.
Do you want to disown your own family and encourage your bride to put herself up for adoption? Hang tight. You're not the only one who has experienced this apparent abduction-and-replacement-with-pod-people of family members. You have one of two options, and each comes with its own set of potential trouble. You can either tell the offending relation to butt out and risk alienating him or her or you can ignore the offender.