Somewhere, someone (probably a jeweler with a big mortgage and kids to put through college) came up with this “guideline” for how much you should spend on your fiancée's diamond ring. This figure is likely close to the amount of credit that will be extended to you by any jewelry store. Whether or not you're comfortable spending that much dough is up to you — and your fiancée, to some extent. If the two of you have been discussing buying a home or a car, carefully consider to what extent your finances can support a ring. It's possible that your fiancée would much rather have the house than the ring.

If you're wavering on the issue of a ring, though, keep this in mind: As life progresses (and it will, more quickly than you realize) there will be expense after expense. Now is probably the best time to take the plunge and buy a diamond (one that you can afford, that is). It will become less of a financial priority as the years go by and you have a mortgage, car payments, and kids.

In the end, you have to be realistic. Of course you love her so much that you want to get her the biggest, best diamond in the city, but slow things down enough to look at the big picture of your future finances (i.e., talk yourself out of going into massive debt in order to buy her a massive ring). Take a deep breath and repeat this mantra, “The diamond is not a metaphor for my love.” You can show her you love her in a million ways — spending every last dime on a ring (and borrowing against many future dimes) may not be the best way.

Before you walk into a jewelry store, set a spending limit for yourself (based on your income vs. your debt) and stick to it. And be strong in your resolve not to overspend. Tricky jewelers will try to push you over your limit, and they'll use your love for your girlfriend as a weapon against you. (“If you really loved her, you'd get her the three-carat ring.”) The salespeople in the jewelry shops will be very kind to you. Remember that their main goal is to make a buck. They will try to sell you things that you really can't afford, so be on guard and say no when you must.