After you ask her for her hand in marriage, and after you've alerted her family to this fact, you're probably going to want to announce your good fortune to the world. You'll find yourself looking at the engagement pictures in the newspaper, posing in the mirror, and perhaps dreading the actual photo session all at once. Like everything else Wedding, you get one shot at this with this woman. Do it right.

The Picture

The engagement picture is very important to your bride. This bears repeating: The picture that will go in the newspaper announcing your future together is incredibly important to your bride. This goes along with her entire wedding fantasy — the one she's been putting together since she was seven. She's got the perfect guy, and she wants everyone to know it. She wants you to look the part, Mister.

Don't take this lightly. If there was ever a time you were going to buy a new sports coat, this may be it. Don't try out that funky, slightly crazy haircut just yet; consider removing the earring from your eyebrow (unless she likes it, of course); don't agree to play tackle football with your buddies in the hours preceding your photo session.

Why do you need to look your best? Aside from the obvious reason that it's a formal picture of the two of you, it's also your first foray into part of her world. Your bride-to-be's long lost friends (and beaux) will probably be seeing you for the first time when this picture hits the newspaper.

Moreover, this picture will be around forever. Your mother will buy multiple copies of the newspaper on the day you and your bride-to-be are making your appearance; this picture will be on her refrigerator for years. Your grandmother will send this picture to everyone she knows. Someone will inevitably frame it for you.

The Announcement

A funny thing happens to some couples when they start writing their engagement and/or wedding announcements for their local newspaper — they realize apparently no one at their local paper regularly checks the facts of these articles. No, the person at the Society Page Desk trusts that these young men and women are one hundred percent truthful. Suddenly, the bride, who is still in college, is the CEO of a phony corporation, and you have been traveling the world for several years, helping those less fortunate than you (funny how you've managed to make an appearance at the guys' weekly poker game).

So what's wrong with fudging the announcement a little, you ask? No harm done, right? Um … wrong. While truly outrageous claims may actually prompt a newspaper employee to check into the facts of your life, embellishing your accomplishments even slightly in an engagement announcement is, as a rule, a bad idea. Stick to what you've actually accomplished — not to what you might achieve in the future.

First of all, anyone who actually knows you is going to know that you've lied. Secondly, you'll have to keep up the lying at your wedding, because many of your guests will have read your announcement and will assume that you were being absolutely truthful. (Ask anyone who's ever told a whopper how difficult — and uncomfortable — it is to keep up with the lie.) Thirdly, it doesn't speak well for you on the whole.

You're young. No one expects you to own a multimillion dollar company at the age of twenty-five (or thirty, for that matter). You've got your entire life ahead of you to conquer the world. Be honest about what you've done thus far.

If you're worried you haven't done enough, realize that you're going to come off looking far worse than you ever could have imagined when everyone realizes you fibbed in a huge way. Seven-year-olds can get away with telling fictitious stories; adults can't.

Hit the High Points

You're going to be honest about what you've accomplished — but remember that brevity is your friend when writing an engagement announcement. You do not need to list every single thing you've done since graduating from high school — especially if you're something of an over-achiever. Choose the best of your accomplishments and go with them.

Listing the six advanced degrees you've earned may be truthful — but it's also a little too much for this particular communiqué. Something will probably be eliminated by an editor who's working with limited space — and it might be the credential you're most proud of. So include that one, and let the others slide.

Save your entire academic record for the other press release — the one announcing you're being honored as a scholar. Your occupation and most recent degree will suffice for this dispatch.

Second Time Around?

If you or your bride-to-be is getting married for the second time, is it appropriate to put an announcement of your engagement in the paper?

Sure, as long as you're both comfortable with the idea. If she's been divorced and she simply isn't into the whole engagement picture/announcement thing, that's absolutely understandable. Her focus has probably moved from the frills of being engaged to the marriage itself.

If you're the one who's already been around this block, talk to your bride about your reluctance to go the same route again. She may be completely understanding and agree with your opinion.

Be forewarned: As unfair as it may seem to you, she may still beg and plead with you to publish the announcement. Remember, what may seem frivolous to you (the engagement photo, the written announcement) may be part of her big wedding fantasy, and she may not want to understand your point of view. She wants to see you in the newspaper next to her. You'll need to talk it out and find a compromise.