You've planned, you've dreamed; you've saved and you've spent a lot of money on this day. It really doesn't feel so different from any other day, you're thinking as you get out of bed — until you see your wedding tux laid out on the chair, and there went your last nerve. Or is it just that you're not feeling well (because, after all, men don't get nervous about weddings)? How can you save yourself from this last-minute rush of emotions?Ah! Cold Feet!
Feeling as though you have absolutely no business getting married? Things were going along just fine and dandy until you stood at the altar during the rehearsal and it hit you: You're a kid, for gosh sakes — a
It's normal to be nervous on the day of any large event. Ever have to go the distance in taking an exam? Think about giving a big presentation at work. Were you sure you'd drop your props and end up jobless? Your nerves were teasing you then — of course you're nervous now!
Maybe because there is no writing on the wall, after all, or perhaps because you're reading it wrong.
Acknowledging you're a little nervous is actually a good thing. You won't be suffering from any mystery ailments, and once you realize that you are doing the right thing by marrying this incredible woman, you'll be back to your old self.
One thing's for certain: If this were not the right thing for you, you would have felt it long before today. So warm up those tootsies with a pair of woolen socks and take a deep breath. Trust the judgment that encouraged you to pop the question in the first place and realize this much: Everything's going to be A-OK.You're So Cool
You're cool as a cucumber; you have nerves of steel. You have never buckled under the pressure of anything, so why are you feeling queasy as you prepare for your wedding? It must be the flu — or could it be that you've been
Emotions can be tricky little things, especially for men who don't normally experience them. If this is a totally foreign feeling, you may not know what to do with it. Some tips:
Give in — a little. Acknowledge that you're actually a little nervous. Fighting the emotion (because you're annoyed by it and/or because you perceive it as a sign of weakness) can sometimes make it worse. (On the other hand, don't give in to the anxiety so much that you're paralyzed with fright.)
Let it pass. Don't dwell on the infinite realm of possibilities (i.e., maybe you're feeling nervous because you're not ready; maybe you should run away, etc.). Tell yourself that this will all pass by the end of the day.
Fill the time. Don't sit around doing nothing. Get out in the world and expend some of that nervous energy.
If all else fails … all right. Go back to ignoring it. Think about the reception and not the ceremony, if that helps; think about the honeymoon; think about your new home together.
Now's not the time to load up on the espresso, nor is it time to hit the bottle of brandy you've been saving. Ever try meditating? Sit down, close your eyes, breathe deeply, and think serene thoughts. Now stop laughing and try it again.
Just remember that you're only going to be on display for a short time; do what you have to do to get yourself through the ceremony (the most nerve-wracking part not just for grooms, but for brides, too) and realize that a great big party (and a new life) is waiting for you on the other side.