You can't expect that you'll always be ready for sex. Yet many people would rather fake interest than communicate openly about their feelings. The problem with this is that it further increases the emotional distance between partners and makes great sex even less likely in the future. When you don't feel like talking much, you can simply say, “I'm not ready for lovemaking just now, but I sure would love to snuggle or spoon with you,” or “I sure would love to give or receive a massage.”

To help yourselves get the most out of sex, it's good to understand some things about how men and women work. Let's look at the general sexual response patterns of men and women and then expand on the possibilities.

A massage can help both men and women get into a loving mood. Some men feel they should be the macho, sexy guy who is just supposed to get it up anytime. The fact is, especially as men get older, they too need to be warmed up to enjoy sex to the fullest.