Eyes: Windows to the Soul

It may be said that the eyes are a sexual symbol as well. Indeed, they are love's powerful allies. Ancient philosophies see the open eye as a metaphor for an open life and an open heart. It is said that the eyes are the seat of the soul and the gateway to the heart. Intimacy, or the act of showing one's self to another, has a direct path through the eyes.

What the Eyes Tell Us

Eyes tell truths that the tongue won't. Eighty percent of the personal energy you put out to others comes through your eyes. Humans avert their eyes when they aren't quite telling the truth or they feel uncomfortable. When people are embarrassed they tend to look away.

You can be coy with your eyes, inviting another in by looking and then looking away and then looking back. You can inflict pain and suffering with your eyes. You can hold another's gaze in a kind of game to see who will look away first. If you need alone time, you might avert your eyes, giving yourself a sense of privacy.

Pay Attention to Your Eyes

To gain a more conscious awareness of how you use your eyes, pay attention to how you use them for the next few days. Notice if you aren't willing to meet someone else's glances. Notice when you do and how it makes you feel. Try giving a person you are having a conversation with your full attention with very open, attentive eyes. See if they become more comfortable and relaxed with you.

Keep the Lights On, Baby

To enhance your intimacy and connection with your partner, keep the lights on while you make love. The lights should be soft but bright enough for the two of you to see each other well. Lie facing each other and simply let your eyes gaze at each other for five minutes. You can also try this exercise while sitting up.

The Italian anatomist Falloppio invented condoms in the sixteenth century as a way to prevent contracting syphilis. It was only later that condoms came to be used intentionally for the prevention of pregnancy. It is generally believed that condoms were first used for contraceptive purposes somewhere around the 1700s. Early condoms were made from animal skin, and would often be re-used after being washed.

This may be difficult for you, but stay with it and practice it often. Take it into your lovemaking. See the beauty in the person you are with. Very soon you will be wondering how you ever made love without having your eyes open.

Let Your Eyes Speak the Emotions

Play some eye-flirting games with your partner or with someone with whom you feel safe. You can consciously set up a game by challenging each other to display certain emotions. Ask your partner to use her or his eyes to express the different qualities of the emotions associated with rapture, longing, neediness, coyness, and devotion. Then try it yourself. Use some of these expressions in your lovemaking.

Drink in the Feelings Expressed

Receiving information with the eyes is just as important as giving information with the eyes. Keep your eyes soft and receptive. There's no need to react, raise your eyebrows, or frown. Just be. Let your partner in. Take a deep breath and relax. Develop the capacity to soften to an even deeper level.

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