Exhibitionism

Even if they won't admit it, many people get a thrill out of knowing someone is watching them when they are naked or partially undressed and in a “private” moment. (Of course, this assumes that you are aware you are being watched and are okay with it. This is totally different from being the victim of a peeping Tom, which most people find disturbing and not the least bit sexy — not to mention illegal.)

As an exhibitionist, you are mainly enjoying the fact that you know the person (or people) watching you finds you and your activities sexy and exciting. You have his undivided attention, and he is totally captivated by your every move. You can get a strange sense of power by knowing you have this effect on someone else.

Remember, just because you like someone watching you in an intimate moment doesn't necessarily mean you want to have an intimate moment with him. Most exhibitionists like to keep their show a strictly one-sided performance. Some people who engage in a swinging or open lifestyle do take their exhibitionism to the next level and invite their audience to join in. But it's very possible to be an exhibitionist and still be in a faithful, monogamous relationship.

Solo Exhibitionism

The majority of people who engage in exhibitionism do it alone, and in a passive way — often making it seem accidental. For example, they will get undressed in front of a window and “forget” to close the drapes. If you are very creative, you may also be able to arrange it so that someone spots you masturbating, but it will take a little bit of thought to figure out how to manage this.

This type of thing can be a win-win situation: the performer gets to play the exhibitionist, while the person watching gets to engage in a voyeuristic thrill, believing they got a glimpse of something they weren't supposed to see. Whether to let on that you are aware you are being watched is up to you.

Keep in mind, though, that there's a fine line between exhibitionism and indecent exposure. You should try to be reasonably certain that your observer wants to see your “show.” If there's any doubt, stick to relatively tame tactics, such as showing an “accidental” fleeting glance of your lingerie or a bare thigh. And, of course, you should never expose too much skin in any environment where a child may be watching.

In 2009, the Standard Hotel opened in Manhattan, boasting floor-to-ceiling windows and a stellar view of the High Line Park below. But the people in the park got just as good a view of the antics of naked hotel guests. The hotel eventually issued a statement saying it would “remind guests of the transparency of the windows.”

Joint Exhibitionism

If your partner is also an exhibitionist (or secretly wants to be), the two of you may find it exciting to make love while someone else watches. Again, it's possible to do this in a passive way, simply by having sex in front of a window — or, if you are really daring, outside — so it's likely that some-one else will spot you.

Another option: You could research sex clubs or swinger get-togethers. Be sure you are clear on the rules, though. Some clubs do allow couples to be exhibitionists without engaging in sexual contact with their audience, while at other clubs this is considered rude or selfish. If it is allowed, there is probably some kind of sign or code you must use so that others know they can watch but can't touch.

Two-Way Exhibitionism

An exciting way to take exhibitionism to the next level is to engage in a two-way show. This is where your audience knows you are aware of their presence and decides to return the favor and put on a show for you. As a result, you each get to be both voyeurs and exhibitionists. For some people, this adds an extra thrill, while others prefer the one-sided “accidental” exhibitionism because they don't feel the pressure to reciprocate or even acknowledge the other person's presence. Keep in mind that by acknowledging the other person's attention and actively interacting with them (even from a distance), you increase the odds that they will want to make contact with you — which could be an unwelcome (and possibly unsafe) move.

Be warned: Your partner may not be happy to discover that you are putting on a sexy show for someone else. This is especially true if you are engaging in a two-way exhibitionism situation. This is a very individual thing, though. Some partners may find it exciting and may even be eager to join you in your exhibitionist activities.

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