A Personal Sexology Exam
Every woman should know her body well, especially if she is interested in being powerfully erotic and sexual. A personal examination is an important first step to great sex. A personal sexology exam is usually done alone. Set aside some quality time to investigate your Jade Garden, as the ancient Chinese called a woman's vulva area.Let's Begin Your Exploration
Start by taking a shower or bath and relaxing. If you have never done this before, view it as a way to know and love yourself better. As you relax, allow any negative imprinting, from societal or family influences or from past partners, to dissolve. Remember that many cultures have worshiped the feminine genitalia. For this moment, pretend you are a member of one of those societies and rejoice in the wondrous gifts you have been given just by being a woman!
Stand near a full-length mirror and observe your body. You're not looking at yourself critically. Rather, your attitude is one of openness, interest, reverence, and perhaps awe. Notice your hips. They have soft curves that draw the attention of potential partners. Your waistline may be smaller than your hips. Notice the softness of your skin.
Look at your breasts. No other mammal has breasts that stay full when they aren't nursing a baby. And yet, many cultures aren't as fixated on breasts as our culture is. Explore your breasts to see how they feel to your own touch and to discover how you like to be touched. You might want to use a little massage oil for this exploration.Exploring Your Vulva
Now, find yourself a small hand mirror and sit comfortably on a mat or towel. Slowly and softly rub your hand over the pubic mound of hair between your legs. Feel how soft it is. Notice the sensations that translate through to your skin from the hair follicles. Give a slight tug to the hair with your whole hand and see how it feels when those nerve endings are stimulated more forcefully.
With both hands, gently separate the hair and open up the outer lips of your vulva. Look at the outer and inner lips in the mirror. Notice the colors and see where the hair starts and stops. See the entrance to the vagina and look for the tiny opening, just above it, that is the end of the urethra. Notice the glistening, wet skin.Exploring Your Clitoris
Apply a small amount of lubricant to your vulva. With your thumb and forefinger, feel along both sides of your clitoris. Also explore the clitoral shaft buried just under the skin below the clitoris. You will have to squeeze your fingers together slightly to feel along the shaft. This is easier to do when you are turned on, as the shaft and head of the clitoris fill with blood and are more prominent. This is also a great stroke to use when pleasuring yourself.
Now look at and feel the hood over the clitoris. Pull it back gently to expose the head, or tip, of the clitoris. Run your finger gently over the head and feel its sensitivity. This is the most concentrated bundle of nerve endings on your whole body.Exploring Your Vagina
With a little more lubricant, explore the inside of your vagina. At this point you may want to get up and sit on your knees. This position will give you better access to your vagina and G-spot. Feel the lining of the vaginal walls and the folds that make up the interior area.
The Kama Sutra divides men into three categories by penis size: the Hare, the Bull, and the Horse. It also divides women into three categories of vagina size: the Deer, the Mare, and the Elephant. The perfect union is said to be between equals: the Hare man with the Deer woman, the Bull and the Mare, and the Horse and the Elephant.
As you put your finger inside your vagina, check the strength of your PC muscles by tightening on your finger. The walls should feel thick and strong. If they don't, start doing those Kegel exercises today. You'll feel improvement within a few weeks.Where's the G-Spot?
It's difficult for women to reach their own G-spot, so you'll have to twist a little to get access to it. Your hand will probably be facing palm up, although don't hesitate to spend a little time exploring the area down toward your anus. The membrane between the anus and the vagina is thin. Because of this, the G-spot can be stimulated through the anus, too.
Just beyond the entrance to the vagina, on the top, you'll feel a mound of skin that is ridged and plump. Slip just beyond that and you've hit the G-spot area. It is neatly tucked behind the pubic bone and needs a surprisingly firm touch to be felt. It is much more responsive when you are turned on, so you may want to arouse yourself and then explore more.
When touching your G-spot, you will probably feel an area of heightened sensitivity. Touching it might even feel uncomfortable at first. You may feel slight pain, tickling, erotic sensations, or the urge to urinate. Or you may not feel much this first time. For now, just see if you can identify any spot that feels a bit more sensitive than the surrounding tissue, and just press on it or massage it for a minute or two.Reaching the Cervix
In this position, on your knees, you may be able to feel your cervix. In some women the uterus is tipped forward, and that brings the cervix into reach. It is toward the back and is relatively large. It will feel soft and puffy. You may be able to feel the edges and the os. It may be somewhat sensitive, depending on where you are in your monthly cycle.
Some women report that they have a very sensitive turn-on area right above the cervix on the top part of the interior of the vagina. Other than this area and the G-spot, most sexologists agree that the vagina is not a particularly sensitive area. So if you ever wondered if there should be more happening in there or believed that maybe you were different, don't give it another thought.
Nevertheless, the sensitive spots you do have in your vagina are exquisite and deserve all the attention you can give them. The more you stimulate them, the more they will give back to you. This is why the angle of penetration during intercourse is so important to women.Completing the Exercise
When you feel your exploration is complete, remove your finger and simply hold your hand softly over your vulva and mound and take a few deep breaths. Relax and appreciate yourself for this time. Honor yourself and all women. Be grateful for being given these parts that function so miraculously.
As you wrap up this time with yourself, reflect on what you thought about your private parts before you began this exercise. In particular, try to answer the following questions:
Has your view changed?
What did you discover?
Do you feel more relaxed and accepting about your parts?
Is there someone you can talk to about your discoveries and feelings? (If so, spend some time with this person talking about your experience.)
This is a fun and interesting exploration to do with your partner, too. Be vulnerable and ask him to do this with you. Then, you can switch roles so that you can watch your partner explore himself.
How do I figure out where my PC muscles are and how to control them?
If you aren't familiar with your pelvic floor muscles, pay attention next time you pee. As you urinate, see if you can stop the flow. It's your PC muscles that are allowing you to do this.