Beginning Things Right
A new sexual relationship may be fun and exciting, but that's no reason to get complacent. Now is the very best time to explore conscious lovemaking and expand your capacity to experience pleasure.Communicating Expectations
Talk to your new lover about what having sex means for your relationship. What are your expectations of each other? Does having sex carry hidden expectations or hidden fears?
If you have secret questions or fears about this topic, or secret expectations that you aren't aware of, this conversation will help clear the air so you can be more present to each other during lovemaking. If you leave these sorts of things unaddressed, you'll be thinking about them when you'd rather be enjoying your newly found love.Sex Lessons
The second conversation that needs to occur should examine what each one of you likes. What turns you on? What secret longings do you harbor? What fetishes and fantasies do you have but are reluctant to disclose?
A good way to have this conversation is to do part of it as a show and tell. While in a relaxed, tender mood, allow your partner to see what you do to turn yourself on. Let her move your hand to the spots that give you most pleasure. Let your partner play with you as you give feedback on what feels good, better, and best. It's often fun to give your preferences numbers, like, “That's a ten … that's a seven … that's only about a two,” and so on.
Read this book together, perhaps taking turns reading chapters to each other. Then discuss anything you think you might want to try. Talk about any feelings or shyness that comes up. And have fun.Creating a Romantic Mood and Setting
Make your first sexual experiences special by creating a romantic setting for lovemaking. Delegate one of you to set the stage, preparing a special atmosphere that honors both partners.
Simply sitting together very closely and gazing into each other's eyes for five or ten minutes is an experience of bonding, trusting, presence, and relaxation. It's a great thing to do on one of your first dates with a potential new partner. You'll both learn a lot from the unspoken.
Leave lots of time for sensual exploration and foreplay. Do not rush it. If your lives are too busy, plan some time away from your normal routine. And definitely turn off your phones and avoid other distractions. It's important that your early sexual experiences leave time for lots of trial-and-error learning. That way you will not fall into habits that need to be corrected later.Time to Bond
The early stage of a relationship is a time for sexual bonding. Busy people often do not take the time to bond properly. This takes more time than you might think.
Bonding occurs when two people share unstructured tender time together, both inside and outside the bedroom. So if your love is new, spend a day in bed together now and then, talking, cuddling, resting in each other's arms, and, of course, pleasuring each other and getting to know each other's bodies.